Finally
by lineie
Summary: This is my idea of how things turn out if Jane keeps this idea of Casey up. Please note, that this is my first story ever and that English is not my native language. Which is why I do not own anything except the mistakes. Comments are very welcome ;-)
1. Chapter 1

"Maura! I know you are not really used to the rules in friendships, but even you must know, that the one friend is supposed to be happy for the other friend when the other friend finally gets the chance to start a relationship with the man of her dreams!"

"Jane, my inexperience has nothing to do with the topic of our disagreement. In fact I believe, that my impartially might be the reason for how I'm acting!"

"Or, the way you act is the reason for your lack of experiences. Maybe that's the reason why you have no friends, why you can't find a man for anything else than sex. maybe that's why your parent..."

"Stop it Jane!" Angela Rizzoli interrupted while Jane and Maura glared at each other. She, Frankie and Detective Korsak had followed the argument between the two friends for nearly 20 minutes, turning their heads as if they were watching a tennis match. What had been planned to be a nice dinner with the (extended) family was right now leading to the worst fight Jane rizzoli and Maura Isles ever had.

"Ma, stay out of this!" Jane said without turning her gaze from Maura. "This is something between me and her!"

"Well, since we all have been forced to listen, this is not just between you two. Not to mention, that your bad manners recoil on me, since I am the one who raised you!"

The female detective looked at her mother dumbfounded: "My bad manners? Really? I can't believed it. She is the one who ... she ... You know what? Just leave. I really want to talk this through with Maura and I don't need you sitting on the side line commenting." Jane looked back at the medical examiner.

Dr Maura Isles stood in her living room. She as well as Jane had raised from the dining table sometime in the fight. The usual confident doctor looked vulnerable, or already hurt, somehow too small for the room. Her eyes were watery. "I thought we are friends, Jane".

For the split of a second Jane's rage was displaced by the urgent need to pull her friend into her arms and tell her that she was sorry and that they were good. But anger got the upper hand again: "Oh come on Maura! Now you try the crying thing on me? Really? Out of arguments, he?"

Maura's expression changed. With still watery eyes but a frozen face she excused herself to the others, who were still sitting around the table and left her own house.

"Now, that's a way to act like a grown-up, Maura!" Jane yelled at the already closed door.

For a short moment the scene froze, nobody moved or spoke. Frankie was the first who came back to live. He jumped up and ran after the medical examiner. "Maura, wait!"

_At leased one of my children know how to behave!_ Angela thought while glancing at Detective Korsak. The older man slowly folded is napkin and placed it neatly on the table. Likewise slowly he rose from his chair and looked at Jane. He furrowed his brow as if he was debating something in his head. "Oh come on, Korsak, you know...". One raised finger and a killing glance from the older Detective were enough to stop Jane. "You, Jane, are acting like an asshole". With this said, he left as well.

Jane stood and stared at the front door, unable to process what had happened.

"Ma" she turned to look at her mother, somehow hoping to find reassurance. What she found was her mother sitting at the well-laid table shaking her head. "Ma..." she tried again. Her mother sighed, emptied her glass of whine and said: "Help me cleaning up."


	2. Chapter 2

As Frankie Rizzoli stepped out of Mauras front door he found the doctor standing by her car, one hand on the car door, staring down the empty street. "Maura?" he asked quietly. When he didn't get a response he slowly drew closer. He placed a hand at the womans shoulder. "Maura?" The ME jumped at the contact. "Oh, hallo Frankie. I...ah..I wanted to leave. But then I remembered that about 10% of the car accidents, in which people were killed, are happing due to the influence of alcohol. And I already had two glasses of whine. And...and I read a study a few days ago which examined the influence of emotional stress on the ability to participate in traffic. But I can't remember the numbers, Frankie. I can't remember...I..." Maura rambled.

"Give me the keys, Maura. I will drive you."

"But I...," the woman said with a sob, "I don't know where to."

Frankie adored his sister. She was the bravest and straightest person he knew. He admired her for her ability to focus, her ambitions, her career and even her stubbornness. A long time ago and for quite a while he couldn't understand why his sister became friends with the somehow weird medical examiner, who was so different from his sister. But as time went by he started to like Dr. Maura Isles and by now he loved her like he loved his sister. And right now he wished they could switch roles, that Maura Isles were his sister and Jane just a family friend, so he could get going and beat the hell out of Jane for causing this mess and hurt.

"Give me the keys, Maura! We can hang out at my place. But I have to warn you, I hadn't had the time to clean for quite a while."

As they pulled out of Mauras driveway he could see Detective Korsak stepping out the front door. He had the same look on his face, which Frankie would see if he looked in the rear view, pure disbelieve and disappointment.

Jane had just finished to dry the dishes her mother had been rinsing off. _One last attempt_, she thought: "Ma, talk to me! What is your problem?"

Angelas head shot up. "You asking me what my problem is?"

"Yeah, sort of... I don't get it. What have I done wrong?"

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli! You still do not understand?"

Jane shook her head. Her mother had refused to talk to her for what felt like hours. "No, Ma, no! I don't know. Tell me, the look on your face tells me, that you obviously know something I don't."

Angela gasped for air. _How the hell?_ "You know I love you no matter what you're doing. And you know that I love Maura just like one of my own. Tonight you have deliberately hurt Maura. How dare you? After all she has done for you and your family?" She was angry. She really loved Maura as a daughter and she definitely did not deserve to be treated like she has been. "All she was trying to say is, that you should not rush things with Casey. That you should take your time after everything that he has done to you."

"Casey has not done anything to me. He had a live threatening surgery and after that an extremely difficult rehab, Ma. He needed his time, and now he is ready to start a relationship with me...and so am I."

"Jane, he left without saying a word, he said that he does not want to be with because he couldn't feel you? You begged him to let you take care of him. That's egoistic."

"Ma, he wants to be the man to me I deserve. There is nothing wrong about it. Thinking about...that's exactly what you always wanted for me. A man, me settling, marrying, grandchildren for you...why do you not like it, Ma?"

"You are right, Jane, I want you to have a family. And I want you to have someone who cares about you but not at any price."

"What do you mean, Ma?"

"Don't trade a friendship like you have with Maura for the option of a relationship with him. Don't you think she just wants to see you happy and that if she argues like she did tonight she has reason?"

Jane fell silent. She still didn't know why the evening turned out like it had, and she still did not know why Maura was not supportive, but maybe her mother had a point.

Angela saw her daughter thinking and decided to leave. "Goodnight Jane!" she said and left through the back door.

Frankie unlocked the door to his apartment. _Okay_, he thought, i_t's not as bad as I remember_. "Come in, Maura. You want something to drink? I even have a red whine." He started off to the open kitchen. "have a seat."

"Frankie, you don't have to host me. I was slightly confused by what has happened tonight, but I am capable of being on my own now." She had entered the small apartment but hadn't moved from the spot between the door and the couch. She fiddled with the hem of her blazer, nervously looking down on her feet.

"I know that I don't have to." Frankie said, then thought for a moment. "You know what? I actually have to." He crabbed two beer from the fridge, entered the living area and shoved Maura towards the couch. "Sit." he commanded. Maura hesitated but then obeyed with a sigh. She took the bottle Frankie offered her. "Why should you have to take care of me?" She took a large sip of beer. Frankie raised an eyebrow. Normally the medical examiner was not the beer drinking kind, but tonight it seemed that it didn't matter.

"Maura. I have to, because I like you. I even love you...ah...in a platonic way. Like a sister, ya know? Jane, you know, she acted like an ass tonight. And I don't know what has gotten into her but you don't deserve to be treated like this. And I think at leased one Rizzoli should have his head on straight."

"Since I don't want you get caught in the crossfire of ... of what ever this is, we should not talk about it. Jane wouldn't like it."

Sometimes Frankie wondered how Doctor Maura Isles had managed to stay with his family for so long. She was way too polite, reserved, considerate to keep up with the temperament of his relatives, especially the one of his sister.

"Maura, she is hurting you and you're still worried about how she likes us talking? I know you really like Jane but you don't have to condone everything." Maura swallowed and muttered: "Maybe that is the problem."

"What do you mean?" Frankie studied Maura's face and could see the wheels in her head turning. She was obviously debating how to answer or if she should answer at all. Frankie sighed. "Ok, if you don't want to do the girly 'we talk about it' stuff, then we do the manly 'we drink about it' thing." He jumped up and jogged into his kitchen. When he returned he hold a bottle of whiskey and two glasses in his hand.

"Uhm, Frankie, I do not drink hard liquor."

"Oh, I think tonight you will and more important you should" Frankie grinned. "The first," he poured them a shot, "is to my stupid sister! cheers!"

Maura eyed the glass, shrugged and tossed back the liquid.

A few hours and more than a few drinks later Frankie and Maura were sitting on the floor, backs against the couch and legs spread under the coffee table.

"Ok, this one," Maura raised her glass, "is to Euler's equation. It's my favorite equation out of all!" Maura stated proudly. "Cheers!"

"Frankie, I gonna tell you a secret."

Well that's interesting, Frankie thought. He turned his head to look at the woman beside him. It took some time until both of them were able to focus, both heads wobbled slightly.

"I do really not like Casey. But...psst!"

He threw his head back into the cushions. "Really?" he laughed.

"Is it this obvious?" Maura slurred.

"Hell yes! I mean, nobody likes Casey except Jane."

Maura looked at him asking.

Frankies phone rang, he looked at the caller ID. "That's Ma."

"Hey Ma!" He answered the call. "Do you like Casey?"

Maura giggled.

"Frankie, is it allowed to switch back to the 'we talk about things' thing? I think I can't take another shot."

"Ok...but then you have talk to me, Maura Isles!"

Maura hesitated. "I don't think I should tell you..but I have the feeling that I should tell somebody...and I'm intoxicated..." she giggled, then swallowed hard, tears started to form in her eyes. "many women experience homosexual feelings during their lifes. It is quite common. Studies show that..."

"Maura! I am as intoxicated as you are. And I'm not half as intelligent as you, so can you please just tell me what you want to tell me, without studies and science and such things?" He started feeling the influence of the alcohol. He looked at his watch. 11pm. His shift would start at 8 in the morning. _Doable,_ he thought.

"You know Frankie, I like Jane, and I want her to be happy. But I thought that I think that she will be happy with Casey. But I think I have to revise my evaluation of the situation, especially according to my reasons." She paused and looked expectantly at her companion. Frankie nodded encouraging. Maura continued in a rush: "It might be possible that I do not like Casey, because I might have feelings about Jane that are not appropriate within this friendship. I know that your family leads their lives in a traditional catholic way and that is the reason why I never told one of you that I had intercourse with women in the past. I think Jane would be uncomfortable around me if she knew and I don't know how Angela would feel with living a house of someone more open. And now I have told you, and I do not know what you feel about it either. I'm so sorry. I should not have loaded this onto you. I'm really sorry." Maura wiped off the tears, that had started falling during her rambled confession and tried to stand up to leave. Frankie grabbed her wrist and pulled her down next to him again.

"So you trying to tell me, that you are a lesbian or bi sexual or what ever and that you have a crush on my sister, your best friend?"

Maura bowed her head in shame and nodded.

"Damn!" Frankie growled.

"Frankie, I am sorry...I..."

The young Rizzoli raised a hand to stop Maura from talking. "Maura! stop talking! I can't believe you are doing this to me!"

"Frankie, please" Maura whined.

"Mickey promised me tickets to the Red Socks Game next month if I get him on a date with you." Frankie tried his best to keep a straight angry face, "Guess I can give up on this." It took a few seconds till Maura understood the meaning behind his comment. She started to grin and both of them ended in a fit of laughter. After they had calmed down, Maura sighed in relieve.

"So, you are okay with this?"

"Hell yes. I mean I'm indeed catholic but not THAT catholic, nor is Ma."

"Thank God. I was really afraid of telling one of you. You are like family to me, and I don't know what I would do if you would turn away from me."

"So what will you do about Jane? Will you tell her?"

"No. I haven't acted on these feelings in the last years, and so I won't do now. "

"Wow. Years? So we can't call it crush then. We have to call it uber-crush."

"Frankie, I would appreciate that you don't inform anyone either."

"Sure thing, Maura. But let me tell you, no matter why you don't like Casey or why you don't like how Jane is acting, you are just damn right about it." He smirked. "But that was enough talking stuff for one night. Are you up for another drink?"


	3. Chapter 3

Jane Rizzoli still stood in front of the kitchen counter, the exact place where her mother had left her. She sighed frustrated.

_What has happened tonight? The idea was to have a nice dinner with my family and friends and then tell them, that finally Casey was ready to try a relationship with me. Finally, that's exactly what I have thought last week when he called. I mean, I have a crush on him since, well, ever. Then we lost contact after high school. He went to join the army and I went to the academy. The day we met again, the butterflies were still there. Yeah, they were there, so I wanted to give us a try. Then things became difficult. He went back to war, got injured, broke contact with me to... to get his self on track again, to get ready for me. That's what he said. He wanted to be the man for me I deserve. So he was willing to undergo a life threatening operation. He was willing to risk his life for me. No one ever was so serious about a relationship with me. That's more than one can ask from a possible mate. Then he had called me, told me that the surgery went well, that he is having rehab now but already had won feeling in his legs back and is able to walk, still with crutches, but walking after all. When we met last week for dinner, he looked good. He was smiling the whole evening. In his eyes there was proud, most probably about his progress. And there was something like anticipation. I asked him about it, and he told me, that he was hoping for a chance with me. And I thought finally. I thought the same finally I think when we get the one missing hint, when we get the perp, when we bring him to the station and we can close a case, finally. I have always been ambitious, slightly stubborn. I like to bring things to an end. Some people say I sometimes get so wound up in cases that I act like a pit bull, get a tunnel view. But hey! That's the only way to do this job. And the same goes for love. _

She took a bottle of beer from the fridge and wandered into the living room.

_So why don't the others think the same 'finally'? Why aren't they happy for me? Proud of me and my stamina? I don't get it. Ma has always wanted me to settle down, to marry and produce her grandchildren. So that's exactly what I am trying right now. Okay, I do understand that it seems rather sudden. Only a few weeks ago I declared that I was over him. _

She took a sip from her beer.

_Actually I don't care what Ma thinks about this. She is difficult sometimes, annoying but most of all a mother with her whole heart. So no matter what her problem is right now she will get over it sooner or later and then we are good again. _

_Korsak will calm down soon, too. The old man has a heart as soft as fluff. I will search the internet for a vid of cut puppies and sent him the link. That will do it. _

Jane snickered and went to grab other beer.

_Maura. Maura. That is not as easy. It's never easy with her. She is the best friend I ever had, and she is the most complicated friend I ever had. That is she, because she never tells me what I have done wrong, she never asks me for what she needs. Considering that she doesn't like guesses she forces me into guessing quite often. She doesn't like Casey, or me being with Casey, that's for sure, heaven knows why. But she is my friend, she wants me to be happy, doesn't she? So what's the problem? Maybe she's edgy because of the Hope thing. Has she talked to Hope lately? I can't remember her saying something about it. Thinking about it, I can't remember talking with her about anything else than cases ...or Casey. Oh! Maybe that's what's wrong. Maybe I haven't been a good friend lately. I have canceled movie night because Casey called. I canceled lunch because Casey called. But she said it was all right with her and she can't lie. But I just talk to her via telephone then, so I don't know if there have been hives. She must have the feeling that she is no longer needed now that this thing with Casey is working out. Damn Rizzoli. You should have made clear to her that no matter what future you are picturing, she is always part of it instead you get all unfair and strike below the belt during our argument. Damn. I will wait here till she comes home. I will say I'm sorry and I will make a joke and then we'll laugh and we are good. That's the plan. _

Jane sank back into the cushions, preparing herself to wait for a few hours.

She woke hours later. She walked over to the window, looking out in the dark. She expected to see Mauras car standing in it's usual spot. But there was no car. She checked her phone for messages and stared back out of the window.

_Damn you Maura Isles. It's way after midnight. Where are you? No matter how angry you are about me, you should know better than running around in town this late. Are you trying to get me worried? Yeah well, you succeeded. I am worried. I know I have been an ass but that's no reason to disappear into the night without saying a word. _

She checked her phone again.

_You know what?! Shove it! I won't hang around here and wait till you make it home. Likely you have hooked up with some random guy and tomorrow you will tell me about the healthiness of sex. Damn you! _

Angrily she tossed her bottle into the trash and left the house, slamming the door behind her. She climbed into her car and started the engine her mind made up to drive to Casey's.

She had been standing at his apartment door for nearly 10 minutes now, still knocking. "No one can sleep this deep, dammit." she muttered. Finally the door swung open. "What the..." a sleepy and angry Casey yelled. As soon as he recognized Jane his facial expression softened. "Hey Jane, what are you doing here? In the middle of the night? Has something happened?"

"Actually, yes, something has happened. I know we decided to take it slow, but I need you tonight." Jane explained and moved towards Casey. She began kissing him while trying to get rid of her own button down.

"Whoa, Jane!" He closed the door behind her. "Slow down. Our first time as a couple should be something special." They moved to the living room still kissing. "And you know that this will be a commitment. I don't want to have meaningless sex with you."

"Casey, stop talking." Jane commanded.

Hours later Jane lay in Casey's bed. She starred at the ceiling, tears ran down her cheeks, while her lover peacefully slept next to her.

_What have I done? That's what I wanted for so long, so why do I feel like shit right now? The sex was not bad, it was okay. Not really what I have expected. Casey was good, I mean, a bit to eager, demanding, but it really was okay. And hey, it was the first sex for him since his injury. Why am I crying like a baby? Why do I regret it, wish it had not happened? And why am I still thinking about Maura even in bed with Casey? Realization of the day: Distracting yourself from a fight with the best friend by having semi good sex with boy friend? Not working! Mental note: Don't try again. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! I just wanted to commend on some of the reviews. **

**First of all I really really do appreciate every comment on my language skills. Most of the time I read and write scientific articles, which always ends up with the same 20 words ;-) So please please help me to improve this.**

**This is definitive a Maura and Jane story, so don't worry and Maura's thought will come up to soon.**

**One review made me think. It stated, that right now one could pity Casey. I do not like Casey, and I intended to write the story like this, but maybe he should not be as bad as I thought. So feel free to comment. **

Angela Rizzoli was on early shift in the cafe the following day. Usually not her favourite, because she had to deal with dozens of grumpy police officers and detectives, who demanded their wake-up or staying-awake coffee. But the sight of her son and the medical examiner trotting into the cafe wearing sun glasses and whispering their orders really made her day. The thought of them and their hang over still made her chuckle.

"Ma!...MA!"

"Oh sorry Jane. What can I do for you? Coffee?"

"Yeah, that would be great. Especially since this that is what you are paid for!"

"Oh are you in a bad mood this morning, Janie?" Angela asked innocently while preparing a cup of coffee.

"Damn Ma, now I know from who I have my detectives skills." Jane replied sarcastically.

Angela answered with equally dry sarcasm: "Finally you honor what I have done for you, my daughter!" She handed over the cup. "Did you have a bad night?"

"Yeah, sort of. But I really don't want to talk about it now or ever, Ma." Jane hesitated. "Ma, have you... I mean, was...is Maura already in?"

Angela chuckled. "Oh yes. She is, more or less."

"What do you mean? And why the hell are you laughing?"

"Oh, Jane, you should have seen them this morning. The sight was just gorgeous!"

"MA! What do you talking about? I am not in the mood for the guessing game!"

"They had a really bad hang over. Must have been a hard night for them to." Angela laughed again.

"Wait! They? Who are 'they'?" Jane had a queasy feeling while asking. _So I was right. Maura picked up a guy last night. But why would she bring him to the station? She wouldn't..._

"Yeah, Maura and Frankie. Frankie mentioned something about never drinking whiskey again."

Jane felt angry heat rising in her cheek. Oblivious to her daughters feelings Angela kept laughing. In this very moment, Frankie Rizzoli turned around the corner. "Ma, I need a coffee! Now!"

Jane's breathing quickened.

"Really Ma, what a night!" Frankie said.

Jane's heartbeat quickened.

"But, damn, it was worth it" Frankie smiled.

Jane's left fist made contact with his nose.

"What the hell!" Frankie shouted as he tumbled back and brought a hand to his now bleeding nose. "What's your problem?"

Jane stared at him and he could see the fury in his sisters eyes. Angela had come around the counter and handed him a towel to save his uniform from the blood which was falling.

"My problem? You have slept with my best friend, you have..."

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli! How dare you? Leave my cafe right now! Get out of my sight!" Angela and Jane were now staring at each other.

_Damn, do the both of them know how alike they are when they are like this? _Frankie thought while observing the scene. He made an attempt to ask, as the pulsating pain in his face reached a new level. _Ouch! That hurts. Better not to risk another punch._

Obviously his mother had won the staring-duel, since his sister stormed out of the cafe.

Dr. Maura Isles were in the middle of an autopsy as she heard the doors to her morgue open.

"Ohm Maura, do you have a minute for me?"

"Oh sure, Frankie, let me just finish this." she answered without looking up, "won't take long."

"Okay. I will wait in your office."

As soon as she had finished her work, she pulled of her gloves and coat and poured some disinfectant in her palm. While she rubbed in the fluid, she entered her office. "So, what can I do for you Frankie?" Only then she noticed the bloody towel Frankie held to his nose. "What has happened?" she yelled horrified and rushed over to where the young police officer was sitting on her couch.

"Well, I made contact with a fist." Frankie explained, as Maura gently removed the piece of fabric from his face by pulling down his arm.

"You should go and see a doctor!"

"Well, that's what I'm doing right now!"

"You know that I mean a practicing doctor. Since this is a work accident, you should have examined in case there a complications."

"Complications?"

"It is really uncommon, that there are major complications, but..."

"Maura, can you please just have a look and tell me what to do? I want to keep it quiet, since it was not really work related."

Maura sighed and fumbled around in her pocket, took out a pair of gloves and started to examine Frankie's nose. "What do you mean by 'not really work related'?"

"It has not happened while I was on duty."

"It does not look like your nose is broken. You should put ice on it for the next hours to reduce the shrinking. At leased the bleeding stopped." she said and removed her gloves. "So, whose fist was it?" she asked raising an eye brow.

Frankie sighed. He didn't want to get in the middle of a fight between his sister and the doctor, but it seemed that he already did by hosting Maura the night before. He sighed again: "It might have been Jane's."

"What?"

"Yeah, she might think we had something last night. Something like sex."

"WHAT?"

"I needed another coffee this morning and I didn't see her at first and I said to Ma something like the night was worth the hang over. Jane somehow snapped then."

Maura stared at him unbelievingly. "You are telling me that Jane had cursed this?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey! Thanks for the comments on this story. The feedback is important for me. So please continue... or start ;-) **

* * *

Detective Jane Rizzoli had stormed out of the cafe and the police department full of anger, and her anger still had not vanished now that she was practically running down the street. _How dare he? Or she?_, she thought. _My own brother had slept with my best friend, he had taken advantage of our fight and dragged Maura in bed. And Maura let him drag, which is not one jot better, even worth, since this is the second time she tried something on one of my brothers. It was Maura's damn openness about casual sex, she just fucks anybody around and she doesn't even stop at family. Sex should mean something, like Casey said the other night, it's about making a commitment. I trust her and she is acting like this? Is she trying to take revenge? Because I have not been the best best-friend lately? But fucking Frankie is just to gross. What the fuck is going on in this big brain of her? _

She kept storming through the streets of Boston, not really knowing where she was heading just hopping that she could somehow calm down enough to go back to work. She kicked a stone hard as her phone vibrated.

She answered the phone without looking at the caller ID: "Rizzoli!"

"Hey sweetheart! This is Casey. I just called to say I miss you!" the cheerful voice of Casey sounded through the speaker.

Jane sighed as she looked at her watch. _Four hours since I left his apartment. _"Yeah, hey, Casey. How are you doing?"

"Just fine. How could I feel any different after last night?" he said and chuckled and continued: "I thought, that we should have a nice dinner tonight, with your mother and brothers. To tell them, that we decided to make this step in our relationship."

Jane gulped. "You want to have dinner with them to tell them that we had sex last night?"

"No, silly! I think we should tell them, that we are in a serious relationship now, with a future and stuff."

Jane stopped her walking. _What?_ She remembered vaguely Casey saying something about a commitment last night. _Does he really think that this was a big step? _She wanted to spend the night with somebody who had not so totally fucked up like Maura or Frankie, but with Ma and Tommy and than Frankie by force? _No._

"You know what, Casey. I'd love to spend the evening with you. But really, I don't want to see Ma or my brothers tonight."

"Oh, just the two of us? Romantic dinner? Sure. It's so sweet of you, that you want to enjoy us together. I should have thought of that."

"Yeah..."

"Than it is set. We will have a nice quite dinner. I look forward to it."

"Yeah, Casey, I..."

"I know, darling. You have to hang up." He laughed, "You are always busy. You come to my place after work?"

"Yeah, Casey. I..."

"Great. See ya later." He hung up and Jane eyed her phone confused. _Yeah_, she thought and turned around to get back to work.

* * *

As she entered the bullpen, Jane saw Detective Korsak and Detective Frost sitting at Frost's desk heads put together and heard them whispering. Korsak's head shot up the moment he heard her footsteps and both of them became silent. For a second the two male detectives looked at Jane, then Korsak cleared his throat, mumbled: "I gonna go get some coffee." and made a beeline for the door. Frost hold her gaze a second longer, then looked back at his screen in an attempt to look busy.

"Frost!" Jane growled approaching his desk.

Detective Barry Frost remembered a childhood incident. He had smashed one of his mothers favorite vases. He had eyed the shards for a while, as he had heard his mother returning into the living room. The only escape he could thought of was hiding and he had hidden, behind the back of his hand. _As long I can't see her, she can't see me_, he had thought and that was what he thought now. As long as he didn't look at Jane Rizzoli, she wouldn't see him.

"Frost!"

He took a deep breath, prepared himself for what ever might come and look up. He winced. Detective Rizzoli had made it to his desk and was leaning towards him by supporting herself on her fists on his desk.

"Frost!" she repeated.

He silently cursed the older Detective Korsak for leaving him alone. "Yeah Jane. What can I do for you?"

"What is it, Frost, that you struggle to look me in the eye? What was your chitchat with Korsak about?"

_'She's in interrogation-Jane-mode right now. No way to escape'_ he thought, '_I might as well make it as short as possible.' _"I've asked him how Rizzoli family dinner was."

"Oh, really? And? Tell me, how has it been?"

"Well, he said it was interesting...somehow."

"Frost!"

He winced again. "Okay, Jane. He told me, that you and Doctor Isles had some problems. And that he thinks, that you might have overreacted."

"And you think so, too? Frost?"

"You know as good as I know that Korsak tends to...to amplify when it comes to gossip."

Jane gave him a stern look.

"Okay, Jane. I am your partner. You know this. And I always have your back and you know you can trust me. But you and I know Korsak, too. I have not been there yesterday, so I really don't know, but he wouldn't lie about something like this. So maybe he has a point there."

Jane straightened herself, then massaged the bridge of her nose. "Yeah, Frost. But you should at leased hear my point here. She just runs around in her damn heels and by doing so makes a move on my brothers. First Tommy and now Frankie. Thank God I do not have any more brothers. And thank God she didn't make a move on me until now. That would be...somehow...you know?!" she laughed and ran her fingers through her hair nervously.

"The Doc has something going on with Frankie? I didn't know you have such a lady killer as a brother."

"I didn't know either until this morning." Jane collapsed into her chair. "You see, I'm not the one who acts strange."

Detective Frost knew very well, that the female detective didn't make much sense. If there had been something between Frankie and Dr. Isles last night, which he actually doubted, then it would have been last night, after the family dinner. So this couldn't be what had coursed the fight, but he was far awy from pointing this out. So he just nodded.

"You know, Frost, I really don't know why Maura is so … so different lately. She …"

In this moment Dr. Maura Isles entered the bullpen. "Detective Rizzoli. I would like to talk to you." she stated.

Janes anger from before rose again. „So you want to talk with me? Know what? I don't want to talk to you. I can't believe that you and Frankie…"

Maura raised her hand to stop Jane from going on. "Jane! I did not have intercourse with your brother Frankie last night."

"But you spent the night with him and you drank whiskey. By the way since when do you drink stuff like this?"

"Jane, he tried to cheer me up, after you alienated me. He was a good friend."

"Oh all the sudden you know how friends should be. Great Maura." Jane had raised her voice, ignoring the glances from her co workers.

"I don't want to continue our argument. That is something we should do in private, and fast. I" she hesitated, "I don't like arguing with you, but that's another story. You should apologize to Frankie!" Maura turned on her heel and left for the elevators.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Maura had made her way back into her office. She had settled down at her desk ready to do some paper work. But her mind kept wandering off to the events of last night and this morning. She took a deep breath and buried her head in her hands.

_What has happened? How could the situation last evening escalate the way it had? It should have been a nice dinner with my best friend and her family and friends. Then all of sudden Jane proclaimed that she and Casey are finally trying to be together. It felt like being hit in the abdomen. Jane has talked about Casey a lot but never mentioned that they were having contact. Or maybe she has and I just blocked this out? It is possible. Still it felt like it is too early, if not too early for them then at leased for me. I have these feelings for Jane for years now. At first I thought it is something they call crush, just a brief confusion. But the more we experienced together the deeper my feelings became. Out of all the possible reactions to this situation, I decided to wait. To wait till the feelings slowly subside and then finally vanish, because this is how it should happen. The human mind is not made for life long unrequited love, evolutionary that would not make any sense. Then again falling in love with a female as a female does not make much sense either..._

_Yesterday I tried to argue with Jane, tried to talk her out of the Casey-idea or at least slow her down, probably because of the feelings I have. Jane questioned my knowledge about friendship and she might be right. From what I know, true friends would have reacted different in such a situation. But I couldn't help myself. I examined my actions, my feelings and my reasons and I came to the conclusion, that if I leave my love interest aside I still doubt. _

_I do not want to loose Jane as a friend. I need her. Her and her family and friends. She is the best friend I ever had. So I should try my best to solve this conflict and to keep my feelings at bay. Otherwise I would loose most if not all social contacts I have here in Boston. I mean, Frankie has been great last night but as soon as he and Jane make up again and as soon as he sees his sister happily involved with Casey he sure won't be interested in a friendship to me. The same applies to Angela and Detective Frost and Detective Korsak. But can I just ignore what I am feeling for her and what I am thinking about him? Wouldn't I lie by doing so? Maybe I should reduce the contact we have to give me time to calm down..._

The knock on her office door let her focus again on her surroundings. She straightened herself and said: "Come in!"

The door opened and Detective Frost's head popped in. "Hey, Doc. Uhm, can I come in? There are no dead bodies?"

"There are never bodies in my office, Detective Frost. We use to keep them in the morgue."

Frost opened the door fully and made a step into the office. "Oh, yeah, right. That makes sense. But, listen, Doc! Korsak and I want to have a few drinks in the Robber after work. You wanna come?"

_Beer after work at the Robber_, Maura thought, _Jane will be there too. That's what she and Korsak and Frost often do. _

Detective Frost saw the medical examiner thinking. He cleared his throat. "Jane won't come with us. She is busy playing lovebirds with Casey."

Maura grimaced.

"Yeah I know", Frost said, "nasty, or?" He grinned. "So, what do you say?"

"I'd love to, Barry." Maura replied.

"Great. We'll call you when we head out." Detective Frost said and left the office.

Maura sank back in her chair, a small smile played on her lips. _Maybe the Detectives Korsak and Frost are better friends to me than I thought. Maybe distance between Jane and me doesn't necessarily induce distance between them and me. Barry didn't seem very fond of Casey and Jane either. _

Still smiling she started to do her paper work. Finally she felt that she belonged to a group, that she made friends of her own and is not only tolerated.

The next days went by in a rush. Unusual high temperatures tortured the people of Boston. And as the temperature rose the crime rate rose as well, so the homicide detectives had a lot to do, as well as the medical examiner and her staff. The work load, the lack of sleep and the heat alone forced nearly everyone into tenseness, but the still unsolved conflict between Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli affected the team additionally. The last few cases had been easy to solve, but the latest turned out to be more complicated. The autopsy had shown that the victim died from a blow on the head, but no indication of the perp had been found. Also the interrogation of family, friends and witnesses brought up no hint. That was why Jane Rizzoli nervously played around with her empty coffee cup while again going through the facts the detectives had collected by then. Jane Rizzoli had spent the last week turning between the case and a quite demanding Casey. He was nice and lovingly and sweet but she really needed some time off. And she really needed Maura back. Despite the fact, that she and Maura still had to clarify things, she needed to be somewhere where she could just let go, and that would be Maura. "I'm going down to the morgue." Jane said and hurried to the elevators. Frost and Korsak let out a sigh of relief. Maybe the doctor and the detective would solve their problems.

Jane stepped out of the elevator and was greeted by Maura Isles. "Hey Maura."

"Detective Rizzoli." Maura said.

"Oh come on, Maura. I know we still have issues and I really want to talk about this, but it can't be that bad that you address me 'Detective Rizzoli'. Where are you going?"

Maura knew as well, that there are things to talk about, but since the detective had not tried to make a move, she had decided to wait, ...again. Life without Jane Rizzoli were lonesome and she missed Jane, but it was not as bad as she thought it would be. Frankie, Frost and Korsak still were present in her life, visiting her in the morgue, asking her out to a beer or wine after work. "Sorry, Jane. We found some pieces of metal at the victims clothes. We ran some tests, and know by now that it is a special kind of alloy, but we couldn't find out where it is used, so we still do not know where the victim could have been exposed. Since he didn't work in this field it is possible that the perpetrator transferred it. That is why I'm on my way to Boston University to consult a certain Dr. Sam McMorrow, physicist, working on material science. He seems to have quite good references. So maybe it is helpful."

"Oh great. I'll come with you. I could need a change." Jane answered as she shoved Maura into the elevator. When the doors opened again Maura tried: "Jane, I..."

"Maura, I know that we have problems, and I know that I might be the reason for this and I know that we need to talk about it, but right now I just want to spend some time with you...with my best friend."

"Jane! Yes, but...!

"Oh come on Maura!"

"Yes Jane. I agree with what you said, we have problems and we need to talk about it, but I just wanted to inform you, that you might be bored during the meeting. It might be very...scientific." Maura said as they reached Maura's car.

"Nah, I think I'm able to take it." Jane said over the top of the car.

Maura grinned, she had really missed her friend. She unlocked the car and Jane and her got in. Once seated she glanced over to the detective. "And you won't even complain about the fact that I will drive?" she asked.

Jane shook her head: "No. Just happy to spend some time with my best friend." They smiled at each other.

As they left the underground garage the rain started to fall and both of them thought: _Finally! _


	7. Chapter 7

During their ride Jane's phone buzzed several times, but the detective didn't attempt to check the text messages. After the fourth time Maura asked: "Don't you want to check who wrote you, Jane?"

"Nah, it's most probably Casey. He likes to stay in contact while I'm at work." She carefully glanced at Maura and caught her rolling her eyes. "Yeah, I know it's a bit annoying."

Maura sighed. There was the Casey topic again, unfortunately. They had nice small talk until now, and she didn't want to talk about Casey or their relationship but considering Jane's comment about how friends should react she managed to ask: "How is it working with you and him?"

Jane smiled softly. "I appreciate that you are asking. But I know that you really don't want to talk about him and right now I don't want either, so let's drop it."

By the time they arrived at the campus the rain had already stopped without any temperature drop. Maura and Jane parked and started on their way to the department of physics. "Damn, Maura. Have I ever called you a geek? Because, compared to these guys you are definitely not."

"Jane! You are mean!" Maura chuckled.

They had stopped at a information board to orientate. Maura studied the position plan, while Jane observed their surroundings. "Hurry up, Maura. One of them comes in our direction." she whispered through the corner of her mouth in played panic.

Maura laughed. She was happy that she and Jane could act like usual with each other again although there were still things to talk about.

"Hey. You two need help?"

Jane eyed the person suspiciously. _Female, in her early thirties, blond, shorter than shoulder length hair, unruly. There is a name for this kind of hair cut but I can't remember. Two cups of coffee in hand. Green, simple t-shirt and worn-out jeans and sneakers. How on earth can a person in their thirties run around like a teenage boy? Quite likely still student with rich parents who pay the fees for the never ending studies of her daughter. She's strangely ogling Maura. I don't like her._

Meanwhile Maura had turned around and smiled. Politely as always she said: "Actually, yes. We are searching for the office of Dr. McMorrow..."

"Maur. We will find the way." Jane interrupted without turning her eyes off the woman, "so thank you, but no, we do not need help."

The woman, who had looked at Jane with a bemused smile on her lips turned back to Maura giving her a questioning look. The medical examiner just shrugged.

"Okay. See you later then." the woman said and left entering the building in front of them.

"'See you later'?" Maura asked Jane.

This time Jane shrugged: "Don't know what she meant."

Nearly 20 minutes later Jane and Maura finally found Dr. McMorrows office.

"You know, Jane, we could have been here earlier if you would have let me ask for help."

"Yeah I know and now you are going to tell me, that it is a very male attribute to not ask for the direction." Jane rolled her eyes and knocked on the door. "But she was … I dunno...strange." Jane opened the door to let Maura in as she caught sight of the very same woman sitting on the secretary's desk drinking her coffee.

"What the..." Jane exclaimed and stepped in front of her best friend. "Maura says five words to you and you already stalking her?"

"Nine. Or eleven. I am not sure how to count title and name." the woman said.

"What?"

"Nine words. She said nine or eleven words." the stranger said. She jumped down off the desk, tossed her cup into the bin, and took a stack of books. "Sarah," she said to the secretary, "No calls, no visitors. You know." The woman made her way into the adjacent office and dropped the books on the desk. She indicated the medical examiner and detective to follow. "Maybe I should introduce myself. I'm Dr. Sam McMorrow."

Jane stared had Dr. McMorrow unbelievingly for a few moments. She then turned to Maura and said: "Maura, you said 'he'!" Surely Jane had misjudged the person, too, but it was easier to hide her own embarrassment when focusing on Maura's embarrassment. Maura had blushed and stuttered: "Yes, I … uh, I guessed ... ehm ..."

"You guessed, Maura? You don't guess."

"I hypothesized maybe, but I am actually not sure what let me to the conclusion, that Dr. McMorrow is male."

Dr McMorrow laughed while she said down behind her desk. She indicated them to sit down too.

"Never mind! It wasn't the first time this happened. I guess you are Dr. Isles and you are...?"

"Detective Rizzoli."

"Okay. Let's come to business, since it's way to warm to stay in here longer than necessary. In the email you wrote something about a sample you would like to have analyzed, Dr. Isles."

"Yes, right." Maura answered happy to get back to science. "We found a piece of metal at a victim's cloth. We were not able to find out were this piece comes from and were hoping that you could help us."

"I'll try my best. What do you have by now?"

The next 10 minutes Dr. Maura Isles and Dr. Sam McMorrow talked about Mauras results and the methods she had used and what could be done next. _Maura was right_, Jane thought, _this is boring. But Maura seems to enjoy the conversation, which is hardly surprising. Maura rarely gets the chance to talk to somebody who is as enthusiastic about science as she. Most of the time we interrupt her as soon as she uses a foreign word. _Seeing Maura's shining eyes as she showed the other doctor something in her report, Jane suddenly felt bad. Maura and Dr. McMorrow laughed about something and Jane felt even worse. Watching this strange Dr. McMorrow thrill Maura with this scientific stuff Jane got the feeling that she was witnessing a part of Mauras life, that she would never participate in and that made her jealous. She tried to focus on the conversation again.

"We are very thankful for your assistance, Dr. McMorrow." Maura said.

"No problem. But, like I said, I can't promise anything. Nevertheless I will call you as soon as the measurements are finished."

"I'm looking forward to it. Please feel free to call at any time, these results are quite relevant to us."

The other doctor raised an eyebrow. "Anytime?" she smirked.

"Anytime!" Maura smiled back.

As Jane and Maura left the building the heat hit them. "Damn, it's hot!" Jane cursed. "I don't think I will get much sleep tonight. Hey. Would you like to have dinner and a few cool beers with me tonight? Preferably at your place since you have an aircon. We could, you know, talk about stuff." Jane still felt strangely excluded from her friend's life and she wanted to clear things up as soon as possible.

"I would like that." Maura answered and gave Jane a great smile.

"You know, I don't like this Dr Sam."

"Oh, really? I have the feeling that she is very competent."

"Competent? Really, Maura? She dresses like a twelve year old."

"Jane. Her way to dress does not give any indication of her scientific work."

They had made their way back to the station and since their were no other leads in the case, the two women had decided to call it a day and leave to Maura's. After gathering her things Jane was on her way down to the morgue as her phone rang.

"Rizzoli."

"Hey sweetheart. It's Casey. I missed you today, you haven't answered any of my messages."

"Oh hey Casey. Yeah sorry about that, but I was busy, you know."

"Jane, you were too busy to write a text message to me? That only takes a few seconds. I know you love your job, but you love me too. So you could at least stay in touch with me."

"Casey, listen. I was at work. I can't stop what ever I am doing just to write you a message. You should know that."

"Sooner or later you have to reduce your working hours. It might be a good start you check your phone from time to time."

"What the... why should I reduce anything?"

"Darling, you know what I mean but I don't want to argue here. When will you be finished for today?"

"I'm actually heading out now."

"Oh great! What do you want to do tonight? Watching a movie or so?"

"Maura and I want to..."

"Maura and you? This is the first evening in days that you call it a day at a normal time and you have a date with Dr. Isles? I try to arrange my whole day so that we have the most possible time together and you want to do a girls night instead of being with me? I can't believe it. I had a really tough day today with rehab and stuff and need my girlfriend right now. And all you think of is Maura Isles. Do you have any idea how I feel right now? Any other day I would just accept this, I would try to give you this freedom without even mention it, because I do care about you and our relationship, but today I had a really tough meeting with the psychologist and I..."

"Casey, listen, if you really need me tonight I will come to see you, but you can't be angry with me because I want to spend time with my best friend!"

"I am your best friend now that we are a couple. And yes I need you tonight!"

Jane sighed and rubbed her neck. "Okay I will be there in 20." she said and hang up.

Meanwhile she had reached Dr Maura Isles' office door. She knocked tentatively. The door swung open and a cheerful Maura grinned at her, purse and car keys in her hand.

"Hey Jane. I'm ready. Do you want to order something for dinner or shall we cook? Or we could stop at the new..."

"Maura," Jane interrupted, "listen. I have to cancel." Jane saw Maura's face fell. "Oh Maura, you know, Casey has trouble to deal with … stuff today. And he wants me to be there for him. I know we wanted to talk and I am so sorry, you have to believe me. Really. But … rain check?" Jane had placed her hand on Maura's shoulder to reassure her that she meant it. Maura nodded.

"Okay great Maura, you are the best. See you tomorrow." Jane kissed her on the cheek. She jogged back to the elevator and left a defeated medical examiner standing in the doorway.

Slowly Maura turned around to step back into her office and closed the door silently behind her. She put down her purse and keys on her desk, sat down and started sobbing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey! The last few reviews I got all said that until now Jane is acting like a jerk and that it is really time for a change and some Rizzles. And they have been right. Since I don't want to let you wait or even loose any followers I tried to hurry up and post chapters 8 and 9 at the same time because in chapter 9 I tried to get some change in Jane's behaviour.**

**So enjoy. And as always comments and reviews are welcome ;-)**

* * *

The next few hours Maura had spent with crying and calming down and thinking. She still sat on her desk. She had enjoyed her day with Jane and had looked forward to their evening. She was disappointed and hurt and again she thought that she should put some distance between her and Jane, so that she finally could move on. Since being home alone tonight seemed too sad she had started to do some paperwork, hoping to distract herself, as she received a text message. She opened the message and read: 'Hey. This is Sam (Dr. McMorrow). I know you said that I could call anytime, but since it is really late I decided to send a message. I've finished the analysis of your sample. Call me, when you read this.'

Maura pressed the call button. The other doctor answered immediately. "Dr Isles. You're still awake."

"Obviously I am. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to call you, Dr. McMorrow."

The woman chuckled. "Yeah right, but please call me Sam. It's too late to be called doctor."

"Alright. But then I insist you call me Maura. So you have finished your measurements? That was quite fast." Maura asked.

Sam answered: "Yeah, I tried to hurry since you told me it's urgent. Sorry it still took this long."

Maura suddenly felt bad. "Oh I'm sorry that I put pressure on you. I tend to be too eager when it comes to my work and then I sometimes forget that I can't expect anyone else to show the same ambition. You should not have worked this late." she rambled. It was true, she didn't mind that she sometimes had to work late hours but she had asked the physicist for help.

"It's okay." Sam said, "really. I couldn't sleep anyway, way too warm. And it was a good excuse to stay in the lab, since it's temperature-controlled. What's your excuse for still being awake?"

"Detective Rizzoli canceled on me tonight and because I didn't want to be home alone I still work." Maura blurted out before she could think about it. She still was mentally distracted by her feelings about Jane's behavior lately.

"Oh?" Sam commented slightly confused.

Maura took a deep breath to compose herself. "Sorry, I should not have said that. It's too private, as we only know each other for a short time."

"Na, it's okay. Being turned down sucks. What do you think about coming over? We could discuss my findings and drink a beer or so. I'm not offering because I pity you, it's just, that I really don't like to be on the phone. Besides, it's a bit spooky alone in the department."

Maura had to grin. She knew that Sam tried to make her feel better without giving her the feeling that she is needy, quite similar to what had Jane done so many times. She thought about the offer but couldn't find anything that would hinder her. In fact, she was sure that she still wouldn't find any sleep, and the paper work she was doing at the moment, wasn't appealing at all. Apart from that, she had always enjoyed discussions with other scientists. "Why not. I'm on my way."

While Maura made her way through empty corridors of the building, she could understand what the other doctor meant with "it's a bit spooky". All lights were shut down, expect the emergency lighting and the only sound she heard was the rushing of the ventilation. As she turned around a corner and saw light shining under the door to Dr McMorrows office, Maura quickened her steps. She knocked shortly and stepped in. "Dr McMorrow, did you know that the fear of the dark is called nyctophobia, from the Greek word for night, or scotophobia from Greek word for darkness? Most children experience a phase in their development in which they are afraid of the dark, but it's considered as natural. Usually the fear is not fear of the darkness itself but of dangers hidden in the dark."

Sam McMorrow sat leaned back in office chair, her bare feet on the desk. On her lap lay a file and she had raised a bottle of beer half way up to her mouth. She looked surprised at the medical examiner and a small smile formed on her lips. "Actually, yes, I know that." She swung her legs off the desk. "It's really scary, isn't it?"

Maura blushed. Her attempt to deflect from her irrational bad feeling in the empty corridors really had been too easy to figure out.

"Hey, no need to be ashamed. Most people feel uncomfortable in the dark and you are a medical examiner, so you see all the nasty things done to people. It would almost be odd if you wouldn't feel this way." Sam grinned and motioned Maura to sit down. "Do want you have a cool beer?"

"I'd love to." Maura said while she placed down her belongings and sat down.

Sam reached behind her chair and grabbed a bottle out of a steaming bin.

"Are you cooling your beverages with dry ice, Sam?"

The physicist grinned again and handed Maura a beer. „Yeah I do. But don't tell anyone. My superior doesn't think it's an appropriate use. Cheers!" She took a long sip. Maura did the same, sighed and leant back in her chair as she finally felt relaxed after hours of tension.

"So, Sam, what have you found out about this alloy?"

"Do you want to hear the whole report or just the result?"

"I assume that you have protocoled the procedure, so the result will be enough by now."

"Okay. The analysis have shown rather clear what kind of treatments had been done. That clear, that I'm quite sure to know were the alloy comes from. I have seen something similar before. But I can't tell you."

"Excuse me? What kind of reason can there be, that you can't tell me?"

"Well, I know from a private communication with a scientist about still unpublished results. So I shouldn't tell you. But I attached a list of necessary equipment to produce this kind of stuff and a list of facilities which have theses kind of things. So I guess with a bit of detectives work you will be able to find out, too." She handed Maura a file.

The medical examiner nodded and stored the file away. "Thank you very much, Doctor. I will have a look tomorrow."

Sam McMorrow laughed and opened another bottle of beer. "I thought, that you would read the report directly."

"Well, as you said, what follows will be detectives work. And the investigating team is most probably off duty right now. I will inform them the first thing in the morning, but right now I would love to enjoy my evening." Even though Maura visited to get new information about the current case and even though she knew that this report was the only hint they had right now, she knew that there wouldn't be any investigations until tomorrow morning. After the exhausting events previously, she decided to enjoy the drink and the company. "I have been wondering, Sam. Why don't you like to do phone calls? I know it's a rather personal question, so you don't have to answer."

The other woman ran her finger through her hair. "I'm not sure. I somehow have the feeling that I miss information, you know. A communication level is missing because I can't see the person. The same goes for the other way around. I can't fully express what I mean, because the other person doesn't see me."

"So you don't like writing emails or messages either?"

"Oh no. I love texting. You have more time to think about formulation and there are these smilies you can use to show feelings. I know, that sounds strange, but it has been always like this. But now that I have answered you a personal question, you should answer me a question." Maura nodded to let her know to continue bracing herself for what would come.

"Dr. Isles, do you really think it's going to rain tonight?"

Maura was confused, so Sam pointed at the umbrella Maura had brought. "Oh," Maura laughed, "the weather forecast stated that tonight there is a rain probability of about 55%. Though I'm aware that the weather forecast is often wrong."

For the next hours the two doctors sipped their beer and talked about this and that, about studies one of them had read or funny facts one knew, even a few more private things were shared. Maura liked Sam, she was easy to bond, quite educated, with a interesting sense for humor but most of all an almost innocent enthusiasm for anything new.

Sam looked at her watch and said: "Crap. It's almost five."

Disbelievingly Maura checked her own watch. "Oh you are right. I kept you awake the whole night." Maura stood up and grabbed her belongings. "I'm so sorry. I should leave now."

Sam jumped up and burst out: "No. I mean, I don't want to kick you out, and I really don't mind that you are still here. But it's really time to get onto the roof."

"The roof?"

"Yeah the roof. The sun comes up soon, and it's a fantastic view up there."


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey! The last few reviews I got all said that until now Jane is acting like a jerk and that it is really time for a change and some Rizzles. And they have been right. Since I don't want to let you wait or even loose any followers I tried to hurry up and post chapters 8 and 9 at the same time because in chapter 9 I tried to get some change in Jane's behaviour.**

**So enjoy. And as always comments and reviews are welcome ;-)**

* * *

When Jane had arrived at Caseys she had geared up herself for the worst case, for crying and break downs and PTSD and... . But when Casey had opened the door, he wore a pleased smile on his lips. He had greeted her with a kiss and a comment of her finally being there, led her into his apartment. He had prepared some dinner and chosen a movie to watch. Even a few candles were lit. It had taken Jane a few minutes to compose herself. She had asked him several times about the dramatic insights he had had in the session with his therapist, but his only answer had been that everything was alright as long as she was by his sight. She had glanced at him during the cheesy love movie again and again waiting for the revelation but it never came.

So when she woke up the next morning the first to things she felt were annoyance and guilt. Annoyance, because Casey got her to spend the evening with him by arousing pity and guilt because she had let Maura down and forfeited the chance to make up with her. She left the apartment early before Casey woke up.

She entered the department early than she used to. Still feeling bad about the last evening she had stopped by Maura's favorite coffee shop and bought her the tea she always ordered together with some cupcakes she liked. Jane knew very well, that this would not be enough to make up but it was a start. She had assumed that, due to the earliness, Maura would not been in her office yet, and that she would just leave her gifts on the desk. But when she stepped in the medical examiner's office she found her best friend face down on her desk slightly snoring. Jane smiled at the sight and silently walked over. She placed a hand on Mauras shoulder and squeezed gently. "Hey sleepy head. What are you doing here?"

Maura startled and tried to focus on Jane. "Oh, good morning, Jane." She rubbed her eyes.

"Good morning, Maura. I ask again, what are you doing here?"

"Obviously I have been sleeping, Jane."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I have seen this. But why are you sleeping on your desk?"

"I have been working through the night and I must have been falling asleep." She stretched, as her eyes landed on the two cups in Janes hands. A smile spread over her face. "Oh Jane, you brought me coffee? And cupcakes? That's so sweet."

Jane heart filled with warmth as it always did when Maura gave her this smile. Though she still felt the guild, even more now that she knew that Maura had spent the whole night working. "Uhm, yeah, you know, to say sorry for last night. But it's just tea, Maura. I thought that ..." Jane said suddenly a bit nervous. She wanted to do this right.

"It's fine, Jane. Thank you very much." Maura smiled again and took the cup, "Please. Sit down."

Jane felt relieve. Maura was still talking to her and didn't seem to be angry or sad with her. _Damn, she always gets along with me even if I'm acting like an ass and she never holds anything like this against me. She's the best friend one could imagine and I definitely have to make it up to her._

"So, Dr. Isles. What have you done all night? There isn't a dead body and you never delay on doing paper work this much that you need a whole night to catch up. Have you written an article for some of these journals?" Jane tried her best to sound interested and give her friend the feeling that she cared.

"You are right; there was not so much paper work to do. Dr. McMorrow informed me last night, that she has finished her report about the trace. So I met with her to discuss the results."

Jane almost choked on her coffee. "You drove to the university in the middle of the night to meet this strange and talk about her results?" she asked unbelievingly.

Maura nodded. Somehow she had the feeling that she shouldn't tell Jane that she spent most of the night talking about anything but the results. She had recognized a hint of guilt in the detective's behavior, most probably because she had canceled on her last night. And she knew, that, if she told Jane that they had spent the night chatting about anything and everything, Jane would feel as if she had been replaced now that she tried to make up. So Maura felt almost guilty herself.

"And that took the whole night?" Jane inquired suspicious.

Maura sighed. Since lying was out of question and deflecting would alert the detective even more, she decided to tell the truth. '_It's not like I have betrayed Jane, not that I'm even in the situation that I could betray her. And all I have done was having a nice conversation._' she argued with herself. "No, that didn't take all night."

"So you decided to make a new geeky friend in the middle of the night?" Jane tried to sound teasing but actually she felt sick. She remembered how excluded she had felt in McMorrows office while she had observed Maura and this doctor talking. She swallowed.

"Jane, we just got carried away. You don't have to bother."

Jane had to smile. Maura could just read her to good. She decided to drop the topic. "So, what has Dr. McMorrow found out?"

"Do you mind, if I refresh myself before we talk about the results? You can wait here, or I come to the bullpen when I'm finished."

"No, go ahead. I will head upstairs, get you a coffee in the café and we will meet at my desk, okay? Frost and Korsak should be in by now, too."

"Thank you, Jane." Maura replied affectionately.

Two day later Maura, Jane and Frost were sitting in the Robber drinking beer respectively wine to celebrate that, they had finally solved the case. Due to Dr. McMorrows findings combined with a lot of research on the employees of the possible institutes they had been able to find a connection between one of them and the victim. Jane and Frost had brought him in and started the interrogation. It had taken a while but he finally confessed.

Jane raised her beer and beamed. "Cheers. To the best homicide team and the best medical examiner!" They clinked the glasses and Jane looked happily at her friends. Two hours later and after a few more drinks they were in the middle of a cheerful conversation, even the banter between Jane and Maura was back and Jane felt that this was a perfect evening as she saw his brother stepping through the door. She waved at him excited but let her arm drop suddenly as she saw who entered behind her brother. She frowned. Frankie had made his way over to their table. "Hey Sis, Frost! Maura, Sam here was looking for you at the station so I brought her here, hope it's okay." he said and already was on his way to the bar.

"Good evening, Sam." Maura greeted the woman joyfully. "You were looking for me? How can I help you?"

"Hey, Maura. You forgot your umbrella in my office and since it's gonna rain tonight, I thought you could need it."

"Yeah right. Because she only has one single umbrella!" Jane muttered and earned a look of reproach from the medical examiner while Sam studied her obviously thinking. After a second she laughed: "I haven't thought about that. Sorry. That happens to my mind when it's too warm."

In this moment Frankie came back with a few bottles of beer in his hands and offered her a bottle.

"Here drink this, it doesn't help your mind but it's at least cold."

She shook her head. "Oh, thank you. But I don't want to interrupt your get together. I should get home before the rain."

Jane looked at Maura. She really seemed pleased that Sam McMorrow was there. Jane still felt bad about her lack of time and attention towards her friend lately and she still had the feeling that she had to take special care for their friendship. _Damn_. She groaned but said: "No, you're not interrupting. Get a chair and sit down. We are celebrating that we solved the case, and since you helped..." The genuine loving smile Maura gave her assured Jane that her attempt was worth it. In the meanwhile Frankie had caught a chair from the table next to them and shoved it towards Sam. She in turn shrugged and sat down.

Detective Frost had watched silently but interestedly the scene feeling that he missed something. He cleared his throat. "Uhm, hey. I'm Detective Barry Frost. I work with Jane." he said while he extended his hand.

"Oh! I'm so sorry." Sam almost looked guilty. "I'm Sam." She took Barry's hand, who still eyed her confused. Maura shook her head and tried to clear the situation. "Barry, this is Dr. Sam McMorrow. She analyzed the metal sample we found on the victim."

Frankie had a hard time not to spit out the sip of beer he had taken. He swallowed and watched at the unknown woman. As he had seen her, with her more than casual appearance, standing in lobby and asked her if he could help her she had introduced herself as simply 'Sam'. "You're a doctor?!" he gasped, "You can't be. You look like..." He couldn't find the right word as Frost, who looked equally surprised stepped in: "Like a student or surfer or musician."

Frankie violently nodded and added: "And doctors should wear scrubs or suits or..."

Barry interrupted again: "Or designer outfits." He winked at Maura. Jane tried her best but couldn't stop the broad laughter as she observed the two men misjudging the doctor as much as she had done.

Meanwhile Maura shifted nervously around. She didn't feel well listening to her old friends making fun of her maybe-new-friend. But as Sam joined Janes laughter, she relaxed a bit.

Sam said: "Yeah you're right. That's what doctors should look like, but I like to run around in incognito."

Hours passed by and Jane became more and more silent while observing the scene. She had to admit that this Dr. Physicist was an easy fellow. She was fun and nice and polite and educated and able to keep up with Maura's google mouth in a way no one else in the group could but still she was … suspicious. Jane didn't like the way she and Maura were acting but couldn't pin down what was annoying. She sighed and got up: "I gonna get more drinks."

As Jane stood at the bar waiting for her order, she studied the scene again. Sam obviously had said something very fun because Maura was leaning toward her, had placed her hand on the other doctor's shoulder and was laughing hard while Sam beamed at her. In this moment it hit Jane. The physicist was flirting. Jane gasped for air and focused on Maura. _She is enjoying this. Maybe she __doesn't recognize what McMorrow is doing._ Maura was again leaning to Sam and seemed to whisper something into the others ear. _Okay, she knows. _The detective felt suddenly sick. Her stomach convulsed as a shiver ran down her spin. _Maura is flirting with Sam. Could it be, that Maura is actually interested in her? Like in romantically interested? Could it be, that Maura is into women? I haven't known. Why haven't I known? I'm her best friend, I should have been aware of something like this. She often has said that sexuality is something fluent. Maybe this was her crazy way to tell me, that... that...she is gay or bi or what ever? No matter what, I should have known! _Once again Jane Rizzoli had the awful feeling that she was too far away from Maura, that she wasn't part of her life like she had been, that she had sometime in the last months lost contact. And she wanted to cry.

"Jane?"

Jane jerked at her name calling and came back from her thoughts. Maura Isles was standing in front of her, a concerned look on the face.

"Jane, is something bothering you? You look distraught." Maura had placed an affectionate hand on Jane's arm.

Jane shook her head to clear her mind. All she wanted to say was, that she didn't want Maura Isle to flirt with Sam McMorrow, that Maura shouldn't even talk to her because Jane didn't want her to. She wanted to forbid any further contact because deep down in her heart Jane knew that she was jealous of the way they were talking, how Sam made Maura laugh and how Maura responded to Sam. But she couldn't say any of this because she knew that she hadn't have any right to do so, and because she couldn't explain to herself why she was feeling these things. So she just said: "No, Maura. Everything is...it's okay."

For a few seconds Maura studied Jane's face as if she was searching for something. Jane look nervously away and tried to ease the situation: "What brings you to the bar? Are you afraid I might order the wrong wine?"

Maura smiled slightly and answered: "No. I want to thank you, Jane."

"Oh really? For...?"

"Well, I know you don't like Sam and that you would prefer her not being here, but as I recognize you try your best here. Most probability because you know that I like her, so, thank you, Jane. That means a lot to me." Maura stepped closer and placed a kiss on Jane's cheek. "Thank you, Jane Rizzoli." she whispered again and turned to get back to the table, as Jane suddenly grasped her upper arms.

"No Maura, don't go."

Maura looked surprised. "Jane, I just want to go back to our table."

Jane had reacted on instinct. After she just had felt that Maura had walked away from her emotionally she couldn't stand the sight of Maura literally walking away from her. "Maur. Stay. I …" She looked deep in the medical examiner's eye's. "Maur!" She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "Maura, can you help me carrying the drinks?"


	10. Chapter 10

Jane sat at her desk in the bullpen and stared at a file in front of her. Since there were no open cases right now she tried to get some paperwork done but hadn't even read through one page in hours. The last evening was still too present in her mind. The only thing she could think about was the question if Maura might be into women. She had recalled every conversation she had with her about this topic but couldn't come up with any answer. The situation was made worse by the fact that each of these conversations were connected to a memory of a wonderful day spent with Dr. Maura Isles. So she had spent the last hours in a loop of trying to find an answer, straying from that by reliving memories and forcing herself to concentrate again. From time to time her train of thoughts was interrupted by the equally nagging question of why it did bother her this much.

Detective Barry Frost, who was also sitting at his desk, had studied his partner for quite a while now. While staring at the same page of the file on her desk for hours, Jane Rizzolis facial expression constantly shifted between concentrated, dreamy, irritated accompanied by a groan and then back again to concentrated. Barry Frost snickered. His partner seemed to try to think something trough obliviously without success. He finally showed mercy willing to help his partner out of her endless loop of thoughts and asked: "Hey Jane, you okay over there?"

Jane looked up to face him. "I'm just thinking about stuff."

"Yeah, I guessed so. But it didn't seem to be productive. Maybe a second opinion would be helpful."

Jane debated with herself if should tell her partner what was on her mind. Usually she didn't share much of her private life with her colleagues, but no matter how hard she had tried she couldn't come up with an answer to her questions. So she leant back in her chair with a serious expression on her face. "Frost. Your mother is engaged to other woman."

"Jane. We already know that. I hope you haven't wasted the whole day thinking about that."

"Noooo, Frost. I know that you know that. But…"

After that opening Frost sure was eager to hear about was what on Jane's mind. "But?"

"You know, that day in the Robber, after the game, you said that you knew about their relationship for a while."

"Yes…"

"How?"

"How what?"

"How did you know that they are, you know, together?"

"You mean aside from the fact that they have been living together for a very long time?" Frost chuckled.

"Frost! Damn! I'm serious!"

"Okay okay. I guess it was the way they were acting around each other, or the way the respond to the other."

Jane nodded slowly but said: "Okay. But I mean, have you ever had the assumption that your mother might be gay or something before?"

Frost put down the pen he had been holding, leant back and crossed his arms. "Jane. Are you asking me, if there is something like a gaydar?"

Jane groaned. The way Frost had formulated her question it really sounded strange. But nevertheless she had to get some input because she was sure would go crazy if she had to spend another hour alone in her train of thoughts. "Yeah, somehow..."

Barry Frost grinned from ear to ear. This could turn out to be the best day of his life. On the one hand the rain last night had cooled down Boston in a way that he was finally able to wear a suit without going insane. On the other hand a nervous Detective Jane Rizzoli sat across of him, fumbling around with a pen, and with one single question had just offered him an opportunity to show his interrogation skills and get to know something private about her. "Detective Rizzoli." he said making sure he had Jane's attention and trying to mimic Jane stare-down-glance. "You are asking me if there is a way to tell if somebody might be gay? And you are assuming that because my mother marries a woman I have this special skill?"

Jane nodded slowly but stayed silent.

"Why the sudden interest in someone's sexual preferences? Have you recently met someone whose interests are important to you?" He made a pause. "Nah, I don't think so. I assume it's someone you already know, someone close to you." He studied Jane's face. She hold his glance but was looking more and more stressed even a bit terrified. "You know, that if there is something like a gaydar and if I have this exceptional skill, you won't gather any information without telling me who you were thinking about?" Jane winced. "Jane. Come on. Something you'd better understand. I won't tell you if I'm able to give you the information you requested. So you can choose, Detective, either you keep trying to solve this on your own as you have the last hours, or, and that is what I recommend, you tell me, who we are talking about, and then I will tell you everything I know about this."

Jane finally looked away surrendering. Inwardly Detective Frost high fived himself. He just had stared down Jane Rizzoli. Damn Korsak, that he wasn't around, because he definitly wouldn't believe him. "Jane, spit it out."

"Damn Frost, now of all times you decide to act like a detective?" Jane had to smile. Frost did a really good job as a partner and as a friend. "It's about yesterday. You know, in the Robber. This Sam doctor was there." Jane paused at if she was waiting for conformation.

Frost got an idea where Jane was going with this. Not wanting to destroy one of the rare moments where Jane Rizzoli opened up to him, he just nodded, indicating her to go on.

Jane continued: "I somehow had the feeling that she and Maura were, I dunno, flirting or something. Maybe they hadn't and I'm just misinterpreting here. Maura never mentioned something like this. I mean, that she and ... you know. But maybe she had said something and I wasn't listening. Or she wanted to tell me in the last weeks and I was a jerk and she hadn't the feeling that she could tell me. Or… or she never even had the feeling that she can trust me enough to tell me that she's like this." Jane hung her head, sighing mournful.

"Jane." Frost almost felt sorry for his partner. Since they seemed to have a heart to heart talk he opted to answer straightforward. "So that's what is troubling you? That Dr. Isles might be bi sexual or whatever? And that she hadn't told you? I don't know if she had been flirting yesterday, but even if she did, Sam seems to be nice and they seemed to have a lot of common interests. So Sam wouldn't be the worst choice. If Maura hasn't told you intentionally, she has reason. I mean, leaving your quarrel aside, it's not easy to talk to you about private stuff especially love life. And if you would talk about this with her in the same way you just told me more or less what is bothering you, I can understand why she hasn't said anything."

Jane blankly stared at him. "What are you talking about, Frost?"

"Really, Jane? 'If she's like this'?" Frost cited her.

"You imply I'm homophobic? You should know better than that, Frost."

"I know that you are not homophobic. But I though wonder why this is bothering you like this. You have been sitting there for hours thinking."

"Damn, Frost. I'm her best friend. I should know something like that. I should know if she is interested in women too. She should trust me enough."

"Yeah, you're right about that trust thing. That's something you two should talk about. But if she is, it wouldn't change anything between you, would it?"

Jane didn't answer.

"So you have a problem with gay people after all!"

"Fuck, Frost, no! That's not it."

"What is it then, Jane?"

"I don't know, Frost. Okay?! I just don't know."

"Well you should just go and ask her. She's your friend after all. But before you do that, you should figure out what this is about."

Meanwhile Maura had just got a tea in the cafe and was standing at the elevator as Frankie Rizzoli approached.

"Hey Maura. How are you doing?" he asked smiling at her.

"Fine," she answered, "thank you, Frankie. How are you?" Maura still felt a bit uncomfortable around him after her drunken confession a few nights ago.

"Tired, but fine. Sooo..." he hesitated but went on, "how are things going with my sister?"

Maura tried her best not to wince but she still did. "She is really attentive lately. Bringing me tea or coffee, texting me during the day, calling after works ."

Frankie chuckled. "She feels guilty."

"I'm aware of that, though I appreciate her attempts." Maura had to smile dreamy.

"Yeah my sis can be sweet if she wants to. I know. But," the elevator cab arrived and they stepped in. "Maura... I dunno." he ran his fingers through his hair, "it's not easy for me to tell you. But I don't know if my sis will ever return your feelings. I hope so, 'cause I'm sure she wouldn't make it through a month without you, but I don't know and you don't know and maybe that will never happen."

Maura swallowed hard. She knew that Jane most probability wouldn't feel the same way she did. She nodded.

"And I know it takes time to overcome a crush like this." Frankie continued, "but you should try, Maura. And that brings us to this Sam doctor." Frankie chuckled. "She seemed to be nice."

Maura remembered the last evening. After a long time she had enjoyed an evening without thinking about all the unsolved problems in her life. She smiled. "Yes she definitely is."

The elevator doors opened and both of them stepped out. "Soooo?" Frankie asked wiggling his eyebrows.

"Frankie..."

"Yeah it's too early and you still have feelings for Jane. I know. But Sam seems to be fun and uncomplicated and...Maura! I just want you to, ya know, try something else and so... And you seemed to like her. So this is my advice. Call her and meet her again. It doesn't have to mean anything but at least try, Maura." Frankie stepped back into the elevator and pressed the button. He winked as the doors closed.


	11. Chapter 11

In the next few days were again busy. Three new homicides kept both the detectives and the medical examiner and her team busy. Still Jane tried her best to spend as much time with Maura as possible. She had thought a lot about her conversation with her partner. And even though she didn't like it, she had to admit that Frost was partly right. She had to talk to Maura about it, no one else could ever answer satisfyingly her questions. But she hadn't forgotten her trouble with Maura lately. She hadn't forgotten that she had acted like a jerk, and she was sure that this situation was not the best basis to talk about stuff like this. So she had decided to start with giving Maura the feeling that they were still friends and that she could trust her. Jane had prepared herself for busy, awkward days, running after Maura, kissing her ass, sweet talking. But she had been absolutely willing to do so, not only to get Maura to talk, but mostly to get her friend back because she missed her. But she experienced something totally different. She had brought Maura coffee or tea nearly every morning, she had brought her favorite chocolate, she even thought about buying flowers. Jane had regularly texted Maura about what she was doing and asked what the doctor did. She had visited her friend in her office, not to ask if there were any new results, just to know how Maura was doing. And by doing all these things Jane felt good. It felt like she should have done all these things for a long time, like she was somehow designed to do so. Like it was normal, or better natural to act like this around Maura. And all her efforts were regularly repaid by just one genuine smile of Doctor Maura Isles. Jane felt so comfortable with the situation that she almost forgot why she had started to act like this. She almost had forgotten their quarrel and the questions she wanted to ask Maura and the questions she had to answer to herself. But as Friday came, Jane decided that it was finally time to get Maura to talk.

She went down to her friend's office, knocked shortly and stepped in. Maura Isles sat at her desk, behind her computer. "Hey Maur! How are you doing?" Jane asked with a smile on her lips.

Maura looked up and returned her smile. "Hallo Jane, thank you. I'm fine. What can I do for you?"

"Yeah, well, I was wondering if you would like to have pizza with me and a movie? You can choose."

"I would love to, Jane!" Maura had recognized the change in Jane's behavior lately and she really enjoyed the attention and the tenderness Jane showed towards her.

They had agreed to meet at Maura's after Jane got home to get Jo Friday and a few things in case she spends the night. Jane would also bring the pizza. So right now Maura was sitting on her couch watching the news waiting for Jane to arrive. She had tried to distance herself from the detective, but the moment she had decided to do so, Jane obviously decided to move in the other direction. This meant that Jane tried to get closer to her. Maura knew she wouldn't be able to move on or move over her feelings for Jane if they did settle in the closeness Jane tried to establish. But it felt right to her, as if it had always meant to be like this, and as if this could be enough for Maura. She sighed, as the heard a soft knock and then the door opening. Jane Rizzoli stepped in packed with a six pack beer, a bottle of wine, pizza and her bag, Jo Friday's leash between her teeth. Maura laughed as she stood up and moved over to her friend. She took the beverages from her. "Hallo Jane, you shouldn't have brought beer and wine. But thank you."

Jane smiled. "Yeah I know I didn't have to," she leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Maura's cheek, "But I wanted to." she said and moved over to the kitchen counter.

Maura stood stunned at the door. The cheek-kissing-thing was also something new Jane had developed in the last days. She took a deep breath and followed Jane into the kitchen.

It was a wonderful evening for both of them. They had eaten, chatted about this and that, laughed a lot and now were sitting close to each other on the couch watching a documentary. Jane was relieved. Finally she had the feeling that she and Maura were okay again. Jane put her arm around Maura, resting her hand on the other woman's upper arm. Maura smiled at her and snuggled closer to rest her head on Jane's shoulder. At movie nights they often ended up in this positions and it was Jane's favorite thing about watching a movie with Maura. It felt incredible comfortable to have her friend in her arm and after a hard day at work the snuggling let Jane easily relax. Though earlier she had made up her mind that she had finally to ask Maura about her and the other doctor, because it somehow drove her nuts not knowing, right now she just didn't want to ask. The moment was just too perfect to ruin it with these questions, and Jane just felt too good to ask the questions whose answers she feared. _What if Maura says that she dates woman, and especially this Sam doctor. What if she says that she has fallen in love with her and that she will move in and that they get married next month and a child is on its way? Okay, Jane Rizzoli. Now it's official. You are nuts. Maura has every right to start a relationship with whomsoever. _Although Jane's mind knew that she was overreacting, the thought of Maura settling with the other woman made her physically sick.

"Jane? What are you thinking about?" Maura disturbed her thoughts.

"Uhm, it's nothing Maura."

"Jane. It doesn't seem to be nothing. You look pale, you are fumbling with the hem of your shirt and you avoid eye contact with me. So, what is bothering you?"

Jane didn't answer, although she knew that sooner or later Maura would get her to tell her.

"Is it about Casey, Jane?" Maura asked even though she didn't like talking about him. But she cared about Jane, and wanted to help her with whatever conflict she seemed to be in.

Jane looked up. "Nah, it's not about Casey. I haven't seen him the last days. He has overdone the relationship stuff lately, so I try to calm things down a bit. But never mind."

"Oh. Okay. Though you were thinking about something. I'm your friend, Jane. I want to be there for you. And maybe I can help you, I'm quite good at thinking."

Jane grinned and squeezed Maura's shoulder. "You definitely are, Dr. Isles." Sighing she continued: "You're right. I was thinking about something, actually for a few days now. But I'm not sure if I can tell you, cause, you know, you might feel offended. And we had a hard time and I don't want to ruin it again. I'm really really glad that we are good again, Maur."

The medical examiner sat up and turned around a bit toward Jane. She placed both of her hands on Jane's thigh. "Jane Rizzoli. I do not like to repeat myself but I do make an exception for you. I am your friend, Jane and I want to help you. Besides, I can't imagine that what ever you are thinking about is offending to me."

Jane took one of Maura's hands into hers and gently stroked Maura's palm with her thumb. While studying their joint hands she said: "Maura. You are the best friend I ever had. I love you and more than anything else I want you to feel comfortable in our friendship and that you have the feeling that you can trust me. And I know that most at the time I don't show you this. But you have to believe me."

"Jane. Sure. I know that. But you are confusing. What are you talking about?"

Jane thought that it was now or never. "You know that evening in the Robber. After we had solved that case. Dr McMorrow was there, too."

Maura just nodded.

"Maura, this evening I had a strange feeling. Maybe I got it wrong, but, you know, I" she held her breath as she finally asked: "I had the feeling that you and Sam were, I dunno. Were you somehow flirting?"

A second passed until Maura had processed what Jane had just said. She hadn't expected this. With a stunned expression she uttered: "Oh!" stiffened and tried to remove her hand from Jane's leg but the detective didn't let go of her hand.

Jane didn't want to lose the contact to her friend right now. She was afraid of how Maura would answer and she needed the assurance holding Maura's hand always brought her. "Maur, don't." she whispered and she felt Maura relax a bit. Patiently Jane waited for Maura to answer.

Meanwhile Maura franticly searched for an answer, that wouldn't be a lie, because she had flirted a little bit with Sam that evening, and that would not lead to any more questions about this topic, since she was fearing she would reveal her feelings for Jane during an interrogation. But no matter how hard she tried she couldn't come up with anything. So she simply said: "You might call it that."

Jane took a few deep and slow breaths hoping that it would help against the arising sickness. Though she wanted to know more: "Oh, wow, Maura. That … wow. Does it mean, ah, that you like women?"

Maura had decided to speak a minimum. So she just nodded.

"Why haven't you ever said something? I mean we are friends. That's something I should know. Not because I have a problem with it or something. Really, Maura. You have to believe me, I'm not homophobic. It's just, you know, I like to know you, anything about you, and that's a big thing, isn't it? I know I can be a jerk and I often don't listen when you tell me all these strange facts you know, and sometimes make fun of you. But, Maur, never, never I wanted to let you believe you can't tell me something important. I'm so, so sorry. ..." Jane rambled on with guilt written on her face. She let go of Mauras hands and raised both arms to cover her face in shame.

This time Maura stopped her by whispering "Don't!" and grabbing her friends hands. "Jane, you have never given me the feeling that I couldn't share something like this with you. You are the best and most faithful friend I ever had. I trust you with my life, literally." Although Maura still didn't want to talk about this special topic with Jane, she couldn't stand seeing her feeling so insufficient and insecure about being a friend. "I never revealed my interest in women because it just never was necessary. Since we met, I haven't been interested in any other woman. And in the few conversations we had about homosexuality or bi sexuality, it didn't seem appropriate to me to tell you. I guess what I'm trying to tell you, is that there never was the right time."

Maura felt the woman next to her relaxing. Mentally the medical examiner congratulated herself. She had managed to appease her friend with telling the truth and without revealing too much of her own feelings. Now she hoped that Jane wouldn't ask why she had formulated 'any other woman' and not just 'any woman' and why she never had the feeling that it would be appropriate. She sighed in relieve as Jane asked: "And now you are interested in the Sam doctor? You meet her again?"

"I've just met her a few time, Jane. So I don't know if I would want a sexual relationship with her. But she seems interesting. And yes, we will meet again tomorrow."

Jane stiffened again. "Uhm, so you have a date tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't call it a date, at least Sam and I haven't called it this. We'll just meet in the afternoon and drink a coffee and maybe spend some time together afterwards. That's it."

Maura looked up searching for Jane's eyes. What she found was the most crestfallen, lost and sad look she had ever seen on her friends face. Jane looked as if her heart had just been broken and that in return broke Maura's heart. "Jane. No matter what will happen with Sam or anyone else you will be my dearest friend. I love you."

Suddenly Jane grabbed Maura's arms and pulled her against her chest holding her for dear life.

Maura gasped as she found herself all of sudden nearly sitting in Jane's lap and her head resting on Jane's shoulder. As she heard a quiet sob she tried to free herself from Jane's embrace to face Jane, but the detective just hugged tighter and whispered: "Don't go Maura."

Jane felt as if she would break apart if she let Maura go right now. Though she finally had answers to the questions that had occupied her mind the last days and though Maura reassured her that she would always be important to the medical examiner, Jane never in her life had felt so miserable like now. She suppressed another sob. '_But so damn great at the same time with Maura in my arms._', Jane thought. '_I don't want Maura to meet Sam again, I don't want them to drink a coffee together and talk about sciency stuff. Maura shall not meet someone "interesting" ever again. I want Maura to stay where she is right now, here with me. And this every night, for the next...for forever. I want to be the one she tells things, the one she leans on. I want to hold her, and feel her and touch her and ki...oh...OH... Rizzoli, you want to kiss your best FEMALE friend!_'


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey. I'm sorry for the late update but I was sort of busy with work. So I hope the ones who stick around are still there. As usually only the additionally characters are mine (this is only 'sam'), the rest belong to the usual ones. **

**I know i make a lot of mistakes in this story, but if there are unusual many this time or if it is not understandable, it's not my fault. You can blame it on the heatwave we have to struggle with right now. We have 37°C (that's like 98°F if that's important) and that is 10°C beyond what I'm used to in the summer ;-)**

**Guess there only will be one or two more chapters for this story. **

**Hope you enjoy though.**

* * *

Jane had spent the night at Maura's. After her revelation she had tried to act as normal and comfortable as possible, though Maura had recognized the change in her behavior. Jane had excused that with nearly everything, work and stress and the time of the year and month and Casey. Anything that was far away enough from her own feelings. She had seen the awareness of her lies in Maura's eyes but the medical examiner hadn't pushed her for answers. Early in the morning Jane had left, again with an excuse, something she couldn't even remember. After she had gotten home she went for a long run and added a workout with her punching bag, both to calm her down and distract her mind from inappropriate thoughts of her best friend, which seemed to be ever present since yesterday's evening. But no matter how intense her physically workout had been, it didn't seem to help a bit. So she ended on her couch switching mindlessly through the television channels. Jane had tried convincing herself that in the light of the day and without Maura at her side her feelings would be less intense. She had hoped that if she would rethink her realization she could come up with another conclusion, that she could explain her feelings for Maura as plain friendly. But that wasn't the case. The more she thought about the medical examiner the surer she became, that what she felt was way beyond friendship. She sighed and checked her watch again, the tenth time in an hour. It was 3 in the afternoon, which meant Maura's date just started. Jane had this strange feeling in her gut since last night, but imaging Maura on a date with the other doctor, amplified it. _Guess that's what they call butterflies in the stomach. But not the sweet and nice ones. These are the ugly ones, who make you wanting to constantly throw up._ She stood up and almost ran to her fridge to get a beer, her last attempt to get rid of her frightening feelings.

* * *

Maura had met Sam at the coffee shop near her favourite park. They had bought cups to go and were now strolling around between the grass fields and trees before they sad down on one of the benches. They had again talked about anything and everything until Sam made a reference to a movie Maura didn't know. The medical examiner frowned and apologized. "Sorry, Sam. I don't know what you are referring to. But I can look it up." She searched for her cell phone in her purse to google Sam's comment. Maura didn't like to not know what her dialogue partner was talking about, and her experience showed that not knowing easy pop culture references offends most people. Though she didn't really know what this meeting was about, she did know that she liked Sam and that she didn't want to reject her by her weirdness.

Sam placed her hand on Maura's forearm to stop her from searching her cell phone. "Don't ask google about it."

"But I want to..."

"You don't have to know everything, Maura." Sam smiled affectionately. "Actually I think, that the opportunity to gather whatever knowledge we want by searching in google, at any time we want, makes life less fantastically."

Maura stopped searching in her purse and sighed. "Most people expect other adults to know certain things about some special movies, though I never quite know which movies are recommend to know. It seems to be sign of social compatibility between two persons."

Sam laughed. "Yeah I know. But it's a bad value to estimate compatibility, isn't it?"

Now Maura had to smile too. "Though, you seem to be very knowing about this kind of things."

"I have a lot really geeky coworkers. I guess I have to know a lot of movies and computer games and this stuff to understand them. But it's not really useful and necessary to know these kind of things."

Maura frowned again. "You think so? So how can one distinguish between useless and necessary knowledge?"

"I dunno. Might depend on the social groups you are interacting with. But a good approximation could be a venerable encyclopedia. But only a printed version. Looking something up in a real book with real paper seems more important than to search the Internet." Sam grinned again.

"I have a printed version of a great encyclopedia at home." Maura stated enthusiastically while remembering an incident, where Jane had called her collection of lexica a great waste of paper and space. "Would you like to see them?"

Sam burst into laughter. "Maura ..."

It took Maura a second to understand the physicist reaction, but then she joined laughing. "Oh. That might have sounded like a strange pick-up-line."

"Yeah it does. But I'd love to see your library, Dr. Isles."

* * *

"Wow Maura, that's a quite impressive collection of literature." Sam and Maura were standing in Maura's office, both with a glass of red wine in their hands. Maura had offered Sam a beer but the other doctor stated that wine and books would match better.

"Yes. I love reading. Especially..."

Before Maura could finish her sentence there was a loud knock on the back door, which was opened directly after. "Maura?" Angela Rizzoli called.

Maura flashed her visitor an apologizing smile and went into the living area. "Angela. Nice to see you."

"Maura, Darling. Sean... Lieutenant Cavanaugh and I just talked about having a barbecue tonight. It's such a nice weather today. Not too warm anymore and not too cold, just perfect. We wanted to invite Barry and Vince and Jane and..." It was then, that the Rizzoli matriarch recognized the other woman and the glasses of wine the women were carrying. "Oh, you have a guest. I'm sorry for interrupting. I didn't know."

"You're not interrupting, Angela. I've showed Sam my library." Maura's thoughts wandered off. She had looked forward to meet Sam today, but since Jane's strange behaviour the last night she had doubted that she actually should meet her. It had felt as if she was betraying her best friend. Even though she had enjoyed Dr. McMorrows company, right now she felt somehow caught.

There was an awkward silence and only when Sam took a step forward, extended her hand and said 'Hallo. I'm Sam.' Maura was retrieved from her thoughts and her good manners took over. "I'm so sorry. Angela, this is Dr. Sam McMorrow. Sam, this is Angela Rizzoli, Detective Rizzoli's mother."

As Angela took the still offered hand, the doctor said: "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Rizzoli."

"Oh, it's Angela since you are a friend of Maura. But nice to meet you too. So you are a doctor? Like Maura?" she asked excited. As long as she was living in Maura's guest house she had never met a female friend of the medical examiner except for her own daughter.

"Oh no. I'm not a medical doctor. I'm a physicist."

"Oh, physicist? Like Einstein?"

Sam smiled sympathetically. "No one's as extraordinary as Mr. Einstein. But we all try our best."

Maura stepped in: "Sam helped us with a case a while ago."

The eldest Rizzoli became even more excited. "That's so interesting. I'm in a hurry right now. But would you like to come to our little barbecue too? You're sure welcome."

Sam shortly glanced at Maura, then focused back at Angela. "I'd love to, but I'm not sure if I can make it. There are a few things I should take care of in university. But I'll try."

"You're just like Maura and my daughter. Always working, even on a Saturday evening. Speaking of, Maura, have you talked to Jane today? I tried to call her several times but she doesn't answer her phone."

"I haven't talk to her since this morning, Angela. I'm sorry." Maura still felt uncomfortable.

"Na, never mind." Angela checked her watch. "Oh, I have to go. See you tonight, Ladies."

Maura kept starring at her back door, already closed after Angela left. _'Jane hasn't answered her phone? Hopefully nothing has happened to her. She seemed confused when she left this morning. Maybe she is with Casey. It's her day off after all. And maybe she tries to solve her problems with him and if they do they will be here tonight for the barbecue and will be flirting and holding hands and...' _She felt a hand on her elbow.

"Maura? Hey! You're alright? You have zoomed out."

Maura shook her head. "Oh, I'm sorry, Sam. I usually am more concentrated on a date. What have you said?"

"This was a date?"

They moved to the kitchen counter and Maura was pouring another glass of wine. "It wasn't? I'm not really accustomed to dating women." She took a big swig from her glass to lessen her tension and sat down.

"I don't know. You tell me. I thought that you and Detective Rizzoli have a... a... thing? So I wasn't sure if this was meant to be a date like in, you know, dating." Sam said.

Maura studied the woman in front of her, who stood in her kitchen, the wine glass in her hand and an expecting look on her face. "Jane and I do not have a... we aren't...there...there is nothing..." Maura couldn't finish her sentence, because she herself didn't know if there was a 'thing'. She had been sure, that her feelings for the detective were unrequited and that she should open up to the idea of moving on. That had been one of the reason she had stayed in contact with Dr. McMorrow. But Jane's tender but strange behavior lately and especially last night let her questioning her earlier estimation. She borrowed her face in her hands and mumbled: "I'm sorry, Sam. But I had the feeling that you were... we were flirting somehow since we met. I apologize if I misinterpret the situation, but that's why I called it a date."

"That wasn't a misinterpretation. I've been flirting with you." Sam grinned and sipped her wine.

Maura looked up confused and frowned.

Sam must have seen the confusion on Maura's face because she answered unspoken questions: "Sure I have been flirting with you Maura. I mean, look at you! Who wouldn't? But that doesn't mean that the coffee we shared was a date. One can flirt without being on a date. On the other hand one can do not flirt on a date. But that would be a really poor date. And, Maura, I can flirt with you even though I had the impression that you are in some sort of relationship with Detective Rizzoli. That might be a bit suicidal if Detective Rizzoli is as possessive as I think she is. But it's just a little flirting, not even very obvious or offensive. I like you but I'm not head over heels in love with you, so it's just some fun, it doesn't have to mean anything. But I guess it's more complex for you than for me, since you are in an undefined something with her and I'm in a quite defined nothing."

Maura sighed. "Thank you for your understanding, even though I might have raised your hopes."

"I know we don't know each other this long, but if you want to, you can talk to me about what's going on between you and your detective. That is, if I get a beer before."

* * *

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli!"

Jane startled and jumped off her couch, whereby she knocked down the empty bottles surrounding her. "What the fuck, Ma? What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same. Are you sitting here drinking at the middle of the day?" Angela studied her daughters face. "And have you been crying, Janie?"

"What? No..." It was only then that Jane felt the wetness on her cheeks. Furiously she tried to wiped away her tears. "No, Ma! I just... had something in my eyes." She grabbed the bottles and moved to her kitchen to throw them away.

"Janie!" Angela had followed her. "Don't you think it's a bit early to drink?"

"You know what? No, Ma. It's actually right the time for another one. You want some, too?" Jane asked with dry sarcasm and opened her fridge to get another beer. She opened it and drowned demonstratively nearly half of it. "Again, Ma. What are you doing here? Can't you just call or at least knock on the door?"

"I have, Jane. But you haven't answered your phone or the door. I was concerned, obviously with good reason." She had started to clean up the counter.

Jane went back to the couch to check her phone. _Five missed calls. Three from Ma and two from … Casey. Fuck. I spent the last hours thinking about my love life and haven't even thought once about him. Fuck. But there is no call from Maura. Seems she enjoys her date. Damn._ "Okay. Sorry for not picking up, Ma." she slumped back in the cushions. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, Sean and I..."

"Sean? Ma? Cavanaugh? Really?"

"Yes, Jane, Sean and I would like to have a barbecue tonight. At Maura's. And we wanted to invite you."

"Oh really? Have you talked to Maura about this? Because she is busy today. She's on something that is not a date." she replied again sarcastically.

"No, Janie. She is not. She's at home and as a girl's talk with this nice Sam doctor friend of hers. I've invited her, too."

"Well, Ma. You might not believe it, but that's her date." As soon as the words left Jane's mouth, she regretted them. No matter how much she hated Maura meeting this women, and no matter how much she was hurt and confused and sorry for herself right now, there was no reason to throw Maura under a bus driven by her catholic mother and by doing so destroying the relationship Maura and her mother had. She knew how much Maura loved her mother. _Oh shit._ She jumped to her feet again and with three big strides she stood next to her mother. "Ma. I..."

Angela didn't respond, just dropped the cleaning rag and grabbed the edge of the counter with both hands.

"Ma, listen to me, I..." Jane tried again.

"Oh, thank god!"

Now Jane was confused. "Ma have you heard what I said?"

Angela rolled her eyes. "Sure Jane. I'm old but not deaf. You said that Maura has a date with this other doctor."

"Yeah, Ma. Date, like dating. Like gay or whatever. Like sin."

Angela's gaze shot up and focused the detective. She lifted a finger at Jane. "Don't you ever dare to call my Maura a sinner."

Her mother's finger was only inches away from Jane's face and she knew the older woman too well to interrupt her right now. So Jane just nodded.

"Jane, Maura is the most caring person I have ever met. She took care about me after the jerk of your father left me, and she took care about your own brother after he … you know and she has done so much for you, even though you don't know. She has been and still is like a saint to our family. You know how bad her choice is when it comes to men. You've met these bastards. So, yes, thank god, that she is open to find her luck with women. And that is not a sin. Damn, we are living in the 21 century. There are Christian schools which are accepting homosexuality." Angela started to underline each word with a hit of a towel on one of Jane's upper arm: "I've. NOT .raised. You. as. a homophobic!"After her rant Angela stopped to study her daughters face. There were tears again and her expression softened. She lowered her hands: "That's not the problem, is it?"

Jane sobbed. While she was investigating her feeling for her best friend Maura she had constantly wondered what her family and friends would think about her falling in love with a woman. She had always had to fight against rumours about her being gay, because of her sports and her job and her way to dress and she had always been afraid of people talking about her. But her catholic mother standing in front of her and making a summation pro homosexuality seemed to make it all bearable: "No Ma, that's not it. It's..." She broke and sobbed again.

"Janie, talk to me. I'm your mother. No matter why Maura's date is bothering you, you can tell me."

Jane couldn't do anymore then to shake her head as her phone rang again. Without looking at the caller ID and without avert her gaze from her mother she answered: "Rizzoli."

"Hey sweetheart. It's Casey. How are you doing? I know, that you've tried to slow things down a bit. And I do understand this. I have forced things. But this near dead situations in war and the surgery and rehab, I know better than anyone else how important ever single moment in life is. But I'm trying to do things right here. And we haven't seen each other for nearly a week now. So what do you think about dinner tonight? Just dinner, you and me, and a few candles." He chuckled.

Jane's gaze didn't not waver from her mother's eyes while she answered: "Casey. Right now it's a bad moment." Right now she didn't had the nerve to do a breaking-up talk with him and that was what she wanted to do to him. "I have to go. There's a family thing at Maura's tonight. I'll call as soon as possible." She hang up before the army soldier could answer.

Angela sighed as she heard the excuses from her daughter. It had always been difficult to talk to Jane. But she had an idea what was troubling her daughter and she wanted to give her as much reassurance as she could. "Listen, Janie. I love you. You're my daughter. I will always love you no matter what. If you don't want to tell me right now what is going on, that's okay. But please remember, you are not the one who just sits around without doing something. I don't know what is bothering you, but please, my daughter, start acting now... after you had a shower and a strong coffee." And with that said she left.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey! This is a short chapter compared to the others i have published before. It is the first half of a chapter I've planned, but I will be busy the next days, so I don't know when I will be able to continue and I decided to post what I have till now, so you have at least something to read. But this chapter is actually nothing more than a preparation for what will come, just some "I'm gathering all the people around I need for what will happen in the next chapter" ;-) **

**Thanks to everyone who follows and who reads this. **

* * *

After Angela left, Jane stood in her living room trying to process what had happened and what to do. From what her mother had said and how she acted Jane was sure that the older woman knew about the current emotional state she was in. And her mother didn't seem to mind, she actually seemed to be encouraging. Jane ran both of her hands through her hair. _Ma is right. I'm not the one who sits around and let things just happened. I'm someone who acts, who takes matters in my own hands. So I should drive to Maura's and end her date with Sam and tell her what I feel._ Jane grabbed her keys and started to the door, but then stopped. _What will happen if I'm too late? If Maura already is making out with Sam on her couch? _Jane felt sick again._ What will happen if I open up to Maura, and she just doesn't feel the way I do? If she rejects me? God, I wouldn't survive that. Well, okay, I think if I have it this bad, that I think I would die, if she doesn't want me, I do not have a lot of options here. Sitting here and doing nothing will kill me then too. So I will drive to Maura, tell her how I feel and pray to God that she feels something too. Oh, maybe I won't pray to God, just in case He really has an objection to same sex love. _She moved towards the door again, but then remembered what her mother had told her._ Shower first, then coffee, and I really shouldn't drive anymore. I'll call a cab. _She felt a hint of relief. Finally she had an idea of what to do.

* * *

"I really don't know what to say, Maura." Sam said. They were sitting with their beverages in the medical examiner's kitchenand Maura had talked quite a while about her friendship with the detective, her feelings for her and all the small signals she believed Jane was sending.

Maura sighed deeply. "I understand. Surely you can't evaluate the situation in a proper way based on only what I have told you since my perception is definitely not objective."

"Well, from all people I know, you might be the most objective when it comes to matters of one own heart. But yeah, I don't know, if Detective Rizzoli has feelings for you. I guess nobody knows. The only why to find out is..."

In this moment the front door was pushed open and Jane Rizzoli stormed in. "Maur! Tell me I got here at the right time."

Maura jumped up with a start. "Jane. Sure you're punctual for the barbecue tonight. Actually you are a bit early." She said confused.

"No, that's not what I mean. What I mean is...you know...if you...Damn, I need to talk to you, Maura. I need to tell you..." Jane spotted Dr. McMorrow sitting at Maura's counter. "Oh, hello, Sam." Her previous determined expression changed to disappointment.

Again Maura felt caught. "Sam and I were having a drink and … and talked about..."

Jane didn't want to hear about the stimulating discussion the two doctors had. So she moved to Maura's side and grabbed her arm, tugging her away from the other doctor. "Maura, I really need to talk to you. Privately. It's important."

"Jane! What has gotten into you?" Maura shrieked surprised by Jane's sudden resoluteness. She looked at Sam. "Sam, I'm sorry. But I..."

Sam jumped up after she drowned the last sip of her beer. "No, it's okay. I should leave anyway."

The back door swung open and Frankie stepped in. carrying cans with meat and salad. "Hey Maura. Ma told as to put the stuff for the barbecue into your fridge since it's bigger than the one in the guest house. Oh, hey sis and hey Sam." Frankie took in the scene in front of him. His sister had a firm grip on Maura Isles arm, leading her away from the kitchen, where Sam McMorrow was standing awkwardly next to her empty bottle obviously on the run. Maura and Jane were starring at each other searching for something in each others eyes. They were so lost in their silent communication, that they didn't even answer to his greeting. He and Detective Frost had definitely interrupted something important. He walked to the fridge, put the canes in and took a few beers out. "Come on, Sam. Let's go outside and help Ma." Even though he had encouraged Maura to meet with Sam again, he didn't want to sabotage any progression in hers and Jane's friendship.

"Uhm, hey Frankie. I'm actually on my way out." Sam answered, while she tried to make eye contact with Maura.

Angela Rizzoli yelled from outside: "Frankie, what takes you so long? Come on, we need to get the table ready."

Without thinking about any better solution of the situation, Frankie shoved Sam to the back door.

Jane had been too lost in Maura's eyes to recognize what was going on around them. _These are the most beautiful eyes I ever have seen._ Her mind went blank and all she could think about was how happy she would be looking at Maura like this every single day of her life. _Damn. Sob stuff! _Jane heard the back door close again. She tried again, softly: "Maura." She released her grip and gently stroked up to her best friend's shoulder. "Maura." she said again. "I have to tell you that..."

The door bell rang and Jane was sure that she would kill who ever had dared to disturb her confession again. "I get it." She said and ran to the door. Whoever it was, they had to leave as soon as possible and she wasn't sure if Maura felt the same urgency, but she was sure that Maura was way to polite to just get rid of whoever was at her door, so she herself wanted to take care of it. "What?" she yelled while she ripped open the door. It took her a second to recognize who stood in front of her but then she managed to say: "Casey. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well you said that there is a family thing tonight here. I thought that I should be here." He stepped in on his crutches confident enough to take Jane by surprise. "i want to be part of your family, sweetheart."

The look in Jane's eyes had been full of affection and truthfulness and bareness, of that Maura was certain and she had been hopeful about what would be revealed, but as she recognized Casey's voice at the door joyfully joining the family dinner, she felt her heart break. She had thought of the opportunity that he would participate tonight, but Jane's behavior had let her to believe that this night was about the two of them. Maura wanted to cry. Again. And again she felt a hand on her arm.

"Maura. I'm leaving now." Sam said. She had unheard reentered her living area.

Maura turned around and buried her head in the others doctors shoulder. A small sob escaped her lips. "Casey is here."

Sam wrapped her arms around the sobbing woman. "Hey. Maura. Shh. I'm here for you as long as you want to."

Maura sank into the embrace. "Sam, could you please stay tonight? I would feel too lonely otherwise." Maura felt Sam's arms tighten around her as the other woman said: "Sure thing. I'll stay, Maura."


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone! I'm sorry for the late update, but I was really busy. And I had a hard time while writing this chapter. I started over again for four times or so and still I have the feeling that I can't say what I want to tell here, especially when it comes to Jane in this chapter. So who ever has an idea how I could have done it better or more in character, is very welcome to write a review or PM (anyone else is welcomed too to comment ;-))****Anyway, hope you enjoy.  
**

* * *

While Casey made his way further into the house, Jane stayed behind frozen. _What the fuck is he doing here?_ She knew she should have told him directly that she didn't want to see him anymore but she never had guessed that he would show up uninvited. But now that he was here she had to get rid of him and preferably everyone else as soon as possible so she could talk to Maura. She followed him. "Casey! Wait!" Once she caught up with the man, they had entered the living room. "Casey, damn! You c..." Jane stopped mid word as she saw Maura breaking away from an intimate embrace with Sam and wipe her eyes.

Maura turned towards Casey and said politely but unusually cold: "Hello Casey, I didn't know you join us tonight."

"Well, Jane told me there's a family thing tonight and since I'm her boy friend I should be here. Don't you think so, Maura?" The last sentence was spoken with a hint of hostility.

For a millisecond Maura's gaze shifted to Jane. "Casey you are..." Jane tried again to bring the situation under her control but this time was interrupted by her mother entering through the back door and joyfully pronouncing: "Let's get out, everyone, so we can clink glasses!" The happy smile on Angela's face faded once she had recognized the new guest. "Oh, hello Casey. What are you doing here?"

"Mrs. Rizzoli." he said as he moved to Angela to give her a familiar hug. "It's so good to see you finally again. It's been a really long time." He looked at Jane reproachfully. "I'm here for the family meeting."

Angela was perplex. _I thought my daughter came here to solve whatever conflict she has with her best friend and now she has invited this Casey guy?_ Was her first thought, but she remembered the phone call she had over heard in Jane's apartment. _So maybe she hasn't invited him, but she seems to make no move to get him to leave!_ Angela sighed. She would never understand Jane's behavior when it came to emotional stuff, especially with Casey.

The thoughts of the eldest Rizzoli were interrupted as Casey turned to Maura again. "Well, Maura. It would be very nice of you if you would introduce me to your friend there."

As Maura opened her mouth to answer Angela jumped in. "This is Sam McMorrow. She's a doctor, too and she is Maura's date." _Maybe repeating this fact leads Jane into some action!_

She saw her daughter visibly flinch.

Sam stepped closer and extended her hand. "Hey."

With a look of disgust Casey refused the offered hand. "I didn't know you were on of those, Maura."

Meanwhile Maura had fully composed herself. She had spent enough time in professional environments and at social events to know how to hide her personal feelings and act politely around people she didn't like. So she did what she was used to. With a smile, what was nothing more than an emotionless activation of facial muscles and a clear voice she responded: "Casey, we are not this close that I would discuss my sexual preferences with you."

Maura's cold tone made Jane flinch again. "Maura!" She pleaded. "Come on. I need to talk to you. Now!"

"Jane, since this is my house and I'm at least partly hostess, it would be very impolite to leave the guests. So let's follow Angela's notion and join the others outside." With that said Maura left followed by Angela and Casey. Sam hesitated briefly and studied Jane's face, then shook her head and moved too, which left Jane alone in the middle of Maura's living room.

* * *

Jane wanted to scream, and to cry and to destroy something. _I fucked up. I and all the others have fucked up. I have finally come to terms with my feelings for Maura and I finally decided to tell her and every fucking person around has stopped me. Destiny is definitely against me. I should have told her right away, the very moment I knew. And I should have broken up with Casey. Now he is here and he is... he is... How have I ever had a feeling for him? How was I able to touch him?_ Jane had to retch. _I should have told Maura that I don't want her to meet Sam and now they are, I dunno, closer. Damn. But I have seen the look on Maura's face and I have heard Maura's voice and she is... Professional-Maura now. She has withdrawn from me. My Maura is gone. _She sobbed. She had witnessed Maura in professional mode before but it had never felt this final to her. She had the feeling that she had missed her only chance to tell Maura how she felt. Never in her life she had felt this numb, this excluded. She had the feeling that she no longer was an actor in her own life but an spectator of the worst situation she had ever been in. Her life or better the life she wished she had was slipping through her fingers. She panicked, she wanted to run, leave the house, hide in her apartment. But she didn't, she moved to the back door._ At least I want to see how everything goes terrible wrong._

* * *

There was an awkward silence after everyone sat around the table until Detective Korsak slightly forced asked: "So, Casey. How's the rehab going?"

Casey smiled: "Thank you for asking, Vince. Actually I'm doing really fine. I've made a lot of progress. I guess it won't take long till I can forgo the crutches completely. Though it was and still is a painful and wearing process." He looked down, sighing theatrically. As he looked up again, he said: "But you know, it helps if you know why you are going through this torture." He grabbed Jane's hand.

Jane startled by the contact, because she had been staring at her best friend ever since they had sat down. Quickly she retrieved her hand from under the man's sweaty palm without loosing eye contact with Maura. Jane vainly hoped, that the other woman had not recognized Caseys sign of affection. Maura blinked and looked away though Jane had seen the hurt expression on her face. Jane saw Sam placing her hand on Maura's in a calming gesture. In this moment the female detective hated the other doctor but at the same time was incredible thankful that she took care of Maura in this horrible situation.

The scene in front of Angela and the male detectives could have been amusing. Dr. Sam McMorrow was thoughtfully studying Casey, while Casey smiled lovingly at Jane. Jane on the other hand pleadingly looked at Maura as if she tried to tell her friend something meaningful. Maura tried to find something to focus on at the wall of her house. She looked at the men around the table. No one was moving but she was sure each of them sensed that they were heading to an escalation. Angela Rizzoli still didn't know what kind of relationship her daughter had with Casey, neither did she know what was going on between Jane and Dr. Isles or Maura and the other doctor. That was why she didn't follow her urgent need to kick this nasty Casey out of her home or to call her daughter on her lousy behavior. She winced and Sean must have recognized because he tried to switch the topic: "So Lt. Colonel. What are your plans after you finished your rehab?"

"I'm not sure about my career plans. After all of this, I don't think I want to get back to active duty but the army offers a lot of other interesting possibilities. I think I want to settle. I want to have a family and lead the life a man should, you know, going to work from 9 to 5, coming home to his wife and children, taking care of them, protecting them from emotional and physical harm."

At this moment Maura stood up a bit to forcefully to call it normal. She was already on her way back inside as she said: "I'm getting another bottle of wine."

Jane made a move to stand up and follow Maura, but Casey grabbed her arm and said: "I'm sure she can handle this alone, sweety." Jane stopped midway in the motion stared at him with expressionless eyes, almost as if she couldn't fully apprehend what he was saying, though after a moment she sank back into her chair.

Sam looked around the table, Angela and the male detectives had dropped their eyes ashamed. "I'm sorry, Angela if I gonna crash your nice little family barbecue, but I can't just sit through this."

Sam was interrupted by Casey: "You already ruined, by being here."

Sam laughed: "Well, I was invited by Mrs. Rizzoli."

"I guess that was before she knew what kind you are. Now she's too polite to throw you out, dyke."

At this Frankie, Frost and even Korsak wanted to jump up but Sam motioned them to stay put. She flashed them a quick thankful smile. As she looked back at Casey she was grinning. "For you it's Dr. Dyke." The male on the table snickered. "I don't think it's politeness that hinders her to throw someone out. I guess she doesn't because she wants her daughter to be happy."

Casey was confused: "What do you mean?"

"Do you really think I'm the intruder here?"

"Who else? The rest is family and good people."

Sam sighed. "You should leave Casey."

"Me?" Casey asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, you. I'm not the one who ruins this party. I don't know why no one has already brought you to the door. Maybe all of them have the feeling that it isn't their job. Maybe all of them think that Jane should be the one, and maybe no one wants to mess with her, because they all think that there's is still a you and her. But you know, I don't care about your relationship and I don't care if Detective Rizzoli likes me or not. So, Casey, leave now."

Casey laughed: "You don't have the right to throw me out."

"Yeah I know. Jane should do it."

"Jane is happy that I'm here."

"I don't know what strange kind of relationship dynamics you have and why she doesn't do anything. But I've heard about the great and strong and confident detective, but look at her. I don't see any of this right now. Do you really think she looks like someone happy?" All eyes were directed at Jane, who still stared at the door through which Maura had made her escape, a single tear running down her face.

"She is not happy right know, because she just found out that someone she had called a friend is a damn dyke, a sinner. But I'll make sure that she never has any contact with Maura again!"

Sam leaned back with a amused smile on the her lips. "Finally" she said and drank from her beer. As she recognized Casey's confused look she pointed at Jane.

* * *

Jane said in her chair lost in thoughts about the woman who had just left. She desperately wanted to follow her, but once again someone had stopped her. It didn't matter who it actually was, but with each unsuccessful attempt she questioned if it even was the right thing to do. She was sure about her feelings but she didn't know what Maura was feeling about her. And she had seen her in an embrace with Sam and she had seen them holding hands, so maybe Maura didn't want her but Sam. Though Jane wanted to talk to her best friend. But Maura Isles seemed unreachable right now. Surely Maura would listen, and somehow process whatever she would tell her, but Jane was certain that right now she wouldn't reach Maura's heart and was what she would talk about. Again she felt lost and a tear ran down her cheek, but she didn't care who saw and what they would think. _Maura_, she thought, _Maura! What have I done?_ She recalled the last twenty four hours, the moment she knew what she was feeling, the moment she decided that she wanted to tell the medical examiner, the talk with her mother: _'But please remember, you are not the one who just sits around without doing something.' _her mother had said and she remembered how Maura had reacted when she came into her home and told her that she needed to talk to her. _There was hope in her eyes. But then Casey rang the bell, I have never told her, that it's over with him. She must think I've called him, that I want him here, that I..._

Jane hadn't listen to what was said by the people around her, she was too lost in her thoughts. But just now Casey said something that ran deep. _'...never has any contact with Maura again!' _Jane imagined how her life would be without Maura. How she would spend her days, and where she would went when she had a problem and … _No! No matter what, I need Maura in my life!_ She came back from her reverie and was greeted with a satisfied smile on Dr. McMorrow's face. It almost said 'Welcome back!'. Jane jumped up, throwing her chair down. She grabbed Casey's collar and pulled him up with her. He struggled until he could reach his crutches, that were leaning against his chair. "Darling! Jane! What is it?" he asked.

"You will leave. NOW!" Jane demanded. She noticed an uniform relieved exhaling from her colleagues, her boss and her mother.

"Sweetheart!" Casey tried but was immediately stopped by Jane's pointer in his face.

"Don't you ever call me sweetheart again. Casey, we are done. I don't ever, EVER, want to see you again, I don't love you, and I will never do, and I might have never. So just leave."

Casey backed away by the force of Jane's words. "But darling! What is it? Are you confused because your friend Maura turned out to be a d..."

This time Jane stepped forward. Her face was only inches away from Casey's. "Don't you dare to call her this."

"So you choosing her over what you have with me?" Casey asked unbelievingly.

"I choose her over everything." Jane answered almost calm. "She is the one I need."

Casey's face had turned red with anger. "So, you are a dyke now too?"

Frankie, Frost, Korsak and Lt. Cavanaugh stood up forming a wall of back up behind Jane, who was so touched by this that she could have cried. That gave Jane enough confidence to say: "Yeah, Casey, yes. I'm a dyke, at least I'm in love with a woman. So just leave now."

Casey looked at her with disgust written all over his face but he turned around and entered the main house to leave.

Jane closed her eyes and breathed in deeply to compose herself. When she opened her eyes she looked at Sam asking, who raised her hands in surrender and said: "Go ahead, I won't stop you if you have to tell Maura that..."

In this moment they heard scattering glass in the main house. Within a second everyone was at the back door Jane leading. As they entered Maura's house they saw Maura frightened leaning against the kitchen counter, a broken glass at her feet, while an anger-driven Casey hovered over her. He closed his hand around Maura's throat and yelled: "You are the reason why she doesn't want me. You have led her into temptation..."

He couldn't finished his sentence because within milliseconds Jane had reached him, had tackled him down and was throwing punch after punch at him.


	15. Chapter 15

**So, next chapter is online. I'm sorry that it took me this long. I think this is the last chapter, so I will set this story as complete. Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks to everyone who has followed.**

* * *

"Get her off of me! She's gonna kill me!" Casey yelled and looked pleadingly at the men standing at the threshold. "She's crazy!" He tried to block Jane's punches, though Jane landed a few hits in his already swollen and bleeding face.

Sean Cavannaugh chuckled. He raised an arm to indicate the others to not intervene and said "Yeah, I don't think she's going to kill you even though it would be the best opportunity with all of us around."

Frankie laughed. "Yeah. Attacking the Medical Examiner with us detectives around is not very clever, Casey."

Detective Frost joined his laughter. "God, yeah, no surprise that Jane is more fond of Maura."

No one around wanted Jane getting into trouble or doing something she would regret as soon as she would have calmed down, but everyone had the feeling that this was something Detective Rizzoli and Dr. Isles had to solve, not one of them. So they stayed at the threshold watching the scene in front of them.

"Jane." Maura almost whispered. She had not moved since Casey had attacked her, she had been too shocked by his actions. Sure, she had disliked him ever since and she had been sure that his and Jane's relationship was not what she wished for her best friend, but she never thought that Casey would become violent. It had caught her off guard but strangely she hadn't been really frightened or scared as his hand had closed around her throat, somehow she was sure that Jane would come to rescue her. "Jane. Stop." She repeated more confident but still calm.

The female detective jumped away from the army officer and swirled around to look at Maura. Jane's face was red from anger and fury was displayed in her eyes.

"Jane," Maura tried again while making a step towards the detective. "Stop. This is not you. You're not a violent person."

Jane eyes softened as she looked into the doctor's eyes. "Maura." She, too, moved closer. "Maura. I..." She gulped to get rid of her own confusion. Maura was right. Usually she wasn't someone who battered someone. She wasn't someone who looses control of her rage. But this was something different. "Maura! He has attacked you. He strangled you after he insulted you. You are wrong. THIS is me. I haven't acted like myself for a while now, but it's all clear right now. I tried to tell you something important all evening and I had let them stop me. That wasn't me. But this," she motioned behind her at Casey, "this is FINALLY me. No one, NO ONE, should ever hurt you, Maura. And I will do whatever is in my power, that nobody not even me ever tries again and that the ones who done it by now will get what they deserve." Her voice had raised to almost desperate yelling.

Maura stepped closer again, now she was almost able to reached out and grab Jane's hand.

Jane heard panting behind her as Casey tried to get to his feet again. Without wavering her gaze away from Maura's eyes she said as calm as possible: "Frankie, Frost, please help Casey up and out."

Before she had finished her sentence Barry Frost and Frankie were at each site of the man, lifting him up to his feet. Frankie handed him his crutches. "Come on." he said, "It's time to leave." Casey tried to free himself from the detectives grip but failed. "Casey, stop this, you just make it worse."

"No! No." He screamed. "She is mine, she belongs to me. Not to this fucking whore!" He pointed at Maura.

This time Detective Korsak stepped in. He had been standing at the threshold of the back door watching the scene in silence but at this he stepped forward. "Don't you dare! One single word more from your mouth about any of them and I will make sure that you are not able to talk ever again."

Casey responded with an almost insane laughter. "What will you do? I have rights. I'm an honorable citizen. You can't just beat me up." He stared at Vince Korsak.

"Try me. But I won't do it myself. I think it would be time to call Maura's father."

Again Casey laughed. "So what? Jane told me Maura comes from a rich family. But they are not above the law. I'm not afraid, old man!"

"You should." Detective Frost responded chuckling. "He is not talking about Mr. Isles." He tightened his grip around the man's forearm and pulled him towards the front door. "We will tell you outside." Frankie and Frost and a stubborn Casey left the house.

Jane heard a distant click as the front door fell into its lock. She made a step closer to the medical examiner. Now she was within reaching distance but still was too unsure to actually grab the other woman's hand. "Maura!" she repeated. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I have..." She focused on Maura's neck. "I've let him interrupt what I was about to tell, I've let him into your house and let..." she swallowed hard, "I've let him harm you. I..." Jane whipped a tear from her cheek. "I've failed. He never should have had been here... God Maura! You don't know what it does to me when someone hurts you. It hurts me. Not like some friendly sympathy. It...it reaches my soul...it...HURTS me to see..."

Maura was stunned. She didn't know where this would lead and she didn't know how she would react. The medical examiner was nervous, agitating awaiting what Jane would say. But though she was aware of the audience they had right now. She raised a hand to stop Jane's speech. "Jane. We're not alone. Maybe you should not tell me..."

"NO Maura." Jane grabbed the other womans hands. "No. I don't care anymore. They can know how I feel. I want to do this right, you know. I know that I have let you unsure for quite awhile. But you have to know that I mean what I'm saying, this is not a game."

* * *

Unnoticed to any of them, Dr. McMorrow had stepped behind the line of detectives at the back door. She had observed the scene in front of them. She had finished her beer and moved silently to the front door picking up her jacket. Once outside she fingered her pack of cigarettes and lit one staring at the sky above her. Sighing as the raining begun, she started walking down the street.

* * *

Again Jane heard the front door falling into the lock. Normally she would have scanned the other people in the room to determine who had left, but right now she didn't care. Normally she would have made sure that no one around was listening when she became emotional. But it didn't matter anymore. The only thing that mattered to her in this moment were Maura's eyes, fixed on her, observing, waiting and so vulnerable that it broke Jane's heart. She stroke her hands up to the other womans shoulder and let them rest there for a moment.

Maura shut her eyes at the gentle touch of the female detective's hand on her arms. She loved it and she wanted to believe that this was a meaningful moment for Jane and her. She wanted to give in, but there had been moments like this in the past and every time it had turned out to be just a very friendly gesture. So with the last of her strength she opened her eyes and again said: "Jane!" It was meant to sound firm but it came out almost pleadingly, she scolded at herself.

Jane's hand moved further up to cup her cheeks. "Maura," she said as she hold the doctors face firmly, "I wanted to tell you the whole day that I'm in love with you."

Maura tried to turn her head so she could free her face from Jane's grab.

"No Maura. Look at me! I wanted to tell you, but I let them stop me, because I was still afraid. Not about what I feel or the consequences or what ever. But I was afraid about ruining our relationship. Our friendship, Maura, is the most important thing that had ever happened in my life. I don't what to loose you. And that is what I feared. Losing you. And by being afraid I let all of this shit happen. I let him attack you." Jane sighed. "I guess I have ruined our friendship by letting him do so. I'll never forgive myself for this. But you know what? There's not much for me to loose anymore. So I tell you without hesitation, that I'm deeply in love with you. I love you, Dr. Isles, and I want to spend the rest of my life telling you, showing you and everyone else on this earth." Jane had moved still closer to Maura, their mouth were only inches apart.

Sean turned around to face Angela and Detective Korsak. He cleared his throat. "Let's give them some privacy." He said and tried to shove the other two out of the door. But Angela and Vince shot him an annoyed look simultaneously.

"Are you loosing your mind?" Angela asked him. "When we leave now, we will miss the best." She was supported by Korsak rolling his eyes at his lieutenant.

"Maura! As I said I don't have much to loose right now. So I'm going to kiss you know. And after that you can yell and scream and hit me. But please, let me kiss you first." Jane studied Maura's face shortly but then leaned in and gently kissed Maura's lips.

Maura stood there frozen as Jane Rizzoli finally kissed her. She had wished for it for so long and now it was happening. It took her a moment to react but she threw her arms around the other woman and intensified the kiss.

Jane finally stopped the kiss and rested her forehead against Mauras smiling brightly. "So you don't scream and hit and run away?"

"Oh Jane." Maura was smiling, too. "I will. Not today though. But I know you. I'm sure you will give me plenty of reasons in the future."

Jane laughed. "So there is a future for us?"

"Yes Jane. I hope so." Maura answered and kissed Jane again.


End file.
